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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart illustrates the number of cars of every 1000 people in 3 particular years in 5 different countries, comparing with the average of the Europe.

The chart illustrates the number of cars of every 1000 people in 3 particular years in 5 different countries, comparing with the average of the Europe.
The chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
cars
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
per
show examples
every
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
1000 people in 3 particular
years
Use synonyms
 in 5 different countries,
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the average
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europe.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the citizens of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 5 used
cars
Use synonyms
 most frequently compared to the others in all the given
years
Use synonyms
, the least share belonged to
country
Use synonyms
 1. Looking at the details,
country
Use synonyms
 5 held the dominance in deploying
cars
Use synonyms
 in all 3
years
Use synonyms
(2005, 2009, and 2015),reaching its maximum in 2015 with approximately 980
cars
Use synonyms
 per 1000 individuals. It is followed by the figure in 2005 with around 900 cabs, whilst in 2009,
this
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slightly different
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
with about 880.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
cars
Use synonyms
 which were used in
country
Use synonyms
 4
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the same in all the given
years
Use synonyms
. In
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 2 and 3,
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of owned
cars
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 almost similar in 2009 and 2015, all of which were less than 600.
However
Linking Words
, in 2005, the disparity between these two countries
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 large:
whereas
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
 2 accounted for roughly 500
cars
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
country
Correct word choice
and country
show examples
 3
constituted
Verb problem
accounted for
show examples
 around 700.
Finally
Linking Words
,
country
Use synonyms
 1 was the place where
cars
Use synonyms
 were deployed the least, reaching its peak at 400 in 2009, which was gradual in comparison with the other regions. In terms of
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 indication of 5 countries,in 2015, more
cars
Use synonyms
 were used by
europeans
Fix capitalization
Europeans
show examples
 with approximately 780,
while
Linking Words
 the least share made up about 700 in 2009.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, cars, years, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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