IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

People
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 have different opinions regarding whether everyone, including the young generation, needs to save
money
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 for their
future
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life
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.
While
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 someone may argue that saving
money
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 for the
future
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 is unnecessary, as it probably can restrict individuals from fully experiencing
life
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 in the present, I strongly disagree with that, as accumulating
savings
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 plays a crucial role in ensuring financial security and stability in
one
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's
life
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. On the
one
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 hand,
one
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 major reason why I support individuals in saving
money
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 is that the current economic climate remains unstable, which increases the potential risks
people
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 may face in the
future
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. Since the younger generation has not lived through the period of rapid economic growth at the turn of the century, their opportunities for wealth accumulation are comparatively limited.
As a result
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, the younger
people
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 must
emphasize
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emphasise
show examples
savings
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 to safeguard their financial stability.
For instance
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, in the context of the current economic downturn, job markets have become increasingly saturated, and unemployment rates are rising. For most ordinary
people
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, losing their jobs often results in the loss of their primary source of income.
Consequently
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, maintaining their personal
savings
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 becomes essential to meet daily living expenses and safeguard the quality of
life
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.
On the other hand
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,
one
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's capacity to accumulate
savings
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 reflects their financial literacy, and the act of saving itself functions as a practical way to cultivate and enhance
one
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's financial
skills
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. A person who is capable of sustained
savings
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 demonstrates strong financial control, including effective budget planning, prudent expenditure management, and the ability to maintain a stable and continuous income. These
skills
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 are vital not only for financial stability but
also
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 for functioning efficiently in social and professional settings. For the younger generation, cultivating financial literacy is particularly crucial. Enhanced financial
skills
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 enable them to exercise greater control over their personal
life
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 and facilitate true independence, allowing them to pursue their aspirations more effectively. In conclusion, I firmly agree that it is important for everyone, including young
people
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, to save
money
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 for their
future
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, as not only can it safeguard the quality of
one
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's
life
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, but
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also it can
Correct word order
it can also
show examples
 enhance financial
skills
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.
Therefore
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, I believe that
people
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 should save
money
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 for the
future
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.

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task response
Make your view clear in the first sentence and keep to two or three big ideas to prove it.
task response
Add more real life facts or numbers to back your claims, even small figures.
coherence
Use short, calm sentences to make your point easy to follow.
task response
Clear position kept throughout the essay.
coherence
Good linking words such as 'On the one hand' and 'Consequently' help flow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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