IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The proportion of income adults and children spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998.

The table gives information about the percentages of British
adults
Use synonyms
 and children who spent
money
Use synonyms
 on four different categories in 1998.
Overall
Linking Words
,
adults
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 spent the highest percentage of their
money
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 on
food
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, and among the adult group, women spent the highest proportion of their
income
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 on
food
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.
However
Linking Words
, children spent the highest amount of
money
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 on
music
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, and when the girls and the boys
compared
Verb problem
were compared
show examples
, girls spent more
money
Use synonyms
 on
music
Use synonyms
 than boys. In the adult group, the highest proportion of
money
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 was spent on
food
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with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 25%.
In addition
Linking Words
, among the
adults
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, females spent more
25
Change preposition
than 25
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of their
income
Use synonyms
 than that of males. Equal percentages of
income
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 were spent on
music
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 and electronic equipment by
adults
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.
While
Linking Words
 males spent 10% of their
income
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, females spent
one tenth
Use the right word
one-tenth
show examples
 of the men’s expenditure on electric equipment. The video group experienced the lowest spending among
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 common items. Looking at the juveniles, they spent the highest percentage of
money
Use synonyms
 on
music
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with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 almost 40%;
however
Linking Words
, they spent the lowest amount of
money
Use synonyms
 on
food
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 one in ten. Among the children, girls spent 5% of their
money
Use synonyms
 on electronic equipment, but boys spent more than three times with 18% on
this
Linking Words
 item.

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task response
Fix the data use. Use the exact numbers for each item and show clear links to the table.
structure
Make a clear plan: one intro, two body parts for adults and children, and a short end.
coherence
Make the flow by linking ideas with simple words, and keep to two to three ideas per paragraph.
grammar
Check spell and use clear grammar. Use the same word for the same item (electronic/electric).
content
The essay shows the right idea of comparing groups.
structure
Some data is used to show points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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