IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Raising children is one of the most important missions for many countries. It is recently updated that new mothers and new fathers should take trainings before getting a child. To what extent do you agree ?

Nowadays, parents are worried about how to
raising
Wrong verb form
raise
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
. So, many of them take classes or courses before they
got
Verb problem
become
show examples
 newborn.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 agreement about why we should stay relevant and up to date to take care
our
Change preposition
of our
show examples
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, we should acknowledge that we don't have good knowledge about how to take care
and
Change preposition
of and
show examples
 raise our
children
Use synonyms
. We
only
Verb problem
were only
show examples
 taught to
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 more money and learn a
lot
Use synonyms
. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, almost
Correct determiner usage
all conversation
show examples
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
 in my life, my parents
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
show examples
 tell me a
lot
Use synonyms
 about how to take care
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
, they just taught me about the attitude and making a
lot
Use synonyms
 of money. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that,
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 really important too for our
children
Use synonyms
 to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manner
Fix the agreement mistake
manners
show examples
 and
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 attitude.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we should
need
Verb problem
apply
show examples
take a lesson before getting a child.
Secondly
Linking Words
, when you both
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 a job, how
you will
Correct word order
will you
show examples
separete
Correct your spelling
separate
 your time with your family?
Do
Wrong verb form
Did
show examples
 we
taught
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
 about time management? I don't think so. The benefits of taking a course
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
we
Correct word choice
that we
show examples
 can learn a
lot
Use synonyms
 from the experience, like our parents too. Because, in
this
Linking Words
 era, we can get the knowledge from content
creator
Fix the agreement mistake
creators
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social media. But, we have to
checked
Wrong verb form
check
show examples
 the validation by
ask
Wrong verb form
asking
show examples
 the experience
while
Linking Words
 we
taking
Verb problem
are taking
show examples
 classes.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, there are some examples from my sisters that they
really
Verb problem
were really
show examples
 happy after that.
Thus
Linking Words
, courses are still useful and meaningful for the people who
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, having a child is
such
Linking Words
 a
greatful
Correct your spelling
great
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
 in your life, because it's a gift to have a
Use synonyms
children
Fix the agreement mistake
child
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if you are taking seriously about your child
,
Rephrase
seriously, i
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 suggest you
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
take the course and start
thingking
Correct your spelling
thinking
how
Change preposition
about how
show examples
 important they are.

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task
Make a clear view at the start. State if you agree and how much.
structure
Plan four parts: intro, 2 body parts, and a short conclusion.
coherence
Use simple link words to move ideas: first, next, also, but, in addition.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar. Use simple verb forms correctly.
content
Give one easy example for each point to back up your idea.
idea
The writer shows a wish to help kids grow well.
content
The text uses real life examples from the writer.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • parenting skills
  • well-adjusted children
  • pre-parental training
  • child abuse and neglect
  • emotional support
  • infringe on personal freedoms
  • natural instinct
  • culturally sensitive
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • feasibility
  • governmental control
  • privacy and autonomy
  • social support systems
  • healthcare
  • education
  • financial aid
  • mandatory
  • voluntary
  • community
  • isolation
  • overwhelm
What to do next:
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