IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

News editors decide what to broadcast on TV and what to print on newspaper. What factors do you think inflluence on these decisions? Do we become used to bad news? Would it be better if more good news were reported?

News
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 that we see on
television
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 or read
on
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in
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newspaper
Correct article usage
the newspaper
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 is carefully chosen by the
news
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editors
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. Many things influence those decisions,
such
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 as money, audience interest and sometimes politics. I believe that
people
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have
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are
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 used to hearing bad
news
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and
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, and
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 publishing more good
news
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 would make the world a little bit better place. One main reason why
editors
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 choose to edit certain parts of a story is profit.
Media
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 companies need viewers and readers to make money through
advertisement
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advertising
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 and
availibility
Correct your spelling
availability
, so they often choose a topic that catches the most attention, like crimes or controversial issues.
Besides
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, audience interest
also
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 affects what
editors
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 choose to publish. If most
people
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 are interested in celebrity
gossips
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gossip
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 or shocking
news
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, the
media
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 chooses to publish those topics more than the mainstream
news
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.
Lastly
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, political parties commonly influence the decision. In some countries, the leading party of the nation controls and guides the
media
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 companies to publish
news
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 or
programmes
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 that
benefits
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benefit
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 them. One example is North Korea. The communist
party
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party,
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 led by Kim Jong Un
practically
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, practically
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 controls all of the nation's
media
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 coverage. The
news
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 and
television
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programmes
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 are often filled with propaganda which mostly glorifies every little
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
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 that Kim Jong Un does. Because we often hear about bad things
such
Linking Words
 as murder or accidents
everyday
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every day
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,
people
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 have become
desensitized
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desensitised
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 to them.
As a result
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, things that used to
shocking to
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shock
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 us now feel normal.
This
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 can make
people
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 less caring about serious issues and lead to
having
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apply
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a negative outlook on life. When everything that we see is sad and violent, it's easy to lose hope and think that nothing good ever happens. If the
media
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 showed more positive
news
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 or
television
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programmes
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, the
people
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 would gain hope and get inspired by the actions shown in the
news
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.
For example
Linking Words
, publishing
news
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 or
television
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programmes
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 that show
people
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 doing actions that
benefits
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benefit
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the
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apply
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society as a whole would motivate
people
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 to do
the
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apply
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good
thing
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things
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. In conclusion,
news
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editors
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 are mainly influenced by money, politics, and public interest. Since
people
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 have become too used to bad
news
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, I think it would be better if the
media
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 reported more good
news
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 to create a healthier and more optimistic society.

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task
State your final view clearly in one line at the end and say why you think it is better or not.
coherence
Give one clear idea in each paragraph with a simple plan: first point, then how it helps, and a short example.
coherence
Use easy join words to show how points go together: and, but, also, so, then.
language
Check small mistakes in grammar and spellings to make the read easy.
task
Give one clear example for each big idea. A real case can help, but keep it simple.
content
The topic is clear and the essay stays on it.
organization
There is a line from start to end that shows your view.
example
You use a real example to show a point.
tone
The tone is calm and shows your view well.
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