IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays air travel is cheaper than in the past. Is this a positive or a negative development? Discuss and give your own opinion.

Recently,
air
Use synonyms
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
are
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 more affordable compared to the past
time
Check wording
apply
show examples
. These breakthroughs create many advantages and opportunities for many people worldwide,
whereas
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 will produce several disadvantages for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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. I believe
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is beneficial, but it should be regulated by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
less
Correct word choice
lower
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price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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 in
air
Use synonyms
 transportation will create
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 and direct impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 economic development. More
countries
Use synonyms
 will gain revenue and tax from foreign
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it will elevate
local
Correct article usage
the local
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economic
Replace the word
economy
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further
Linking Words
.
For example
Linking Words
, Bali’s island in
Indonesia
Punctuation problem
Indonesia,
show examples
 is one of the most popular tourist attractions in the world, and many foreign people
arrived
Wrong verb form
arrive
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 in Bali because
its
Change preposition
of its
show examples
 affordability.
Hence
Linking Words
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 provides several regulations and infrastructures in order to support tourism development.
In addition
Linking Words
, local
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 will gain
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 amount of revenue from the foreign
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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 because they will spend money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
cuisines
Fix the agreement mistake
cuisine
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and accommodations.
Although
Linking Words
 the migration from
air
Use synonyms
 transportation is beneficial, some drawbacks will occur from these situations because it will create massive migrations from one country to another
Check wording
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
. Some
countries
Use synonyms
 will lose their population and lower their economy as
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, many people in
Europe
Use the right word
European
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countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as the United Kingdom and Australia have been
moved
Wrong verb form
moving
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 to Dubai and Indonesia because they difficult to find
occupation
Check wording
employment
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.
Thus
Linking Words
,
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 in the UK decreased significantly from 2010 to 2025.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
cheaper
air
Use synonyms
 transportation will create beneficial effects for economic development and create
snowball
Correct article usage
a snowball
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effects
Fix the agreement mistake
effect
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 local
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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.
However
Linking Words
, the government should develop
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
 to mitigate
drawback
Check wording
the negative
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 effects
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon,
such
Linking Words
 as migration
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
 or visa
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
.

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task response
Make your view clear in the first line. Then give two side ideas and end with a clear opinion.
coherence
Use simple link words to join ideas. For example: also, in addition, but, however.
grammar
Check grammar and form: use air travel, not air transportations; fix subject verb with plural forms.
examples
Give one or two strong examples and check facts, so they fit well.
structure
Try to keep one idea per paragraph and lead with a topic sentence.
strength
The essay shows a clear view and some good examples.
strength
It talks about how price may change the economy and how rules can help.
strength
There are real place names used to back a point.
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