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Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays more and more people like to travel to different countries. What are the causes of this trend?Is it a negative or positive development?

In recent times, a trend of travelling to different countries has gained popularity.
This
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 essay discusses the popular concept of FOMO
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is short for 'Fear Of Missing Out' to be the
principle
Use the right word
principal
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 factor behind
this
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 trend and proceeds to prove it as a negative development. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) is a concept that most people are prone to
due to
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 the increasing usage of social media.The pictures or videos posted by vloggers, friends or relatives on social media act like a catalyst to create a sense of inadequacy in most people
and
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, and
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 they start feeling as if they are not enjoying life enough if they are not travelling to some
foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
 country
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
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 in the videos.
This
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 drives them to travel just out of that peer pressure.
This
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 has led to an unprecedented load on the logistics, disruption in the lives of the local population in tourist areas and excessive harm to the environment
due to
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increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 in fuel usage for
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
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.As per a recent survey, most Swiss citizens reported
to
Change preposition
apply
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being utterly displeased by the steep rise in the number of tourists that visit Switzerland each year and rob the local population of their
quiet
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quiet,
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 restful routines.
Finally
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, I would reiterate that the disadvantages of
increasing
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the increasing
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 number of people travelling
different
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to different
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 countries clearly
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
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 the advantages.

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content
Add more points that show why travel is rising, not just FOMO. Mention other reasons like work, study, cheaper trips, and easy borders.
content
Give more real examples or data. One Swiss example is okay, but more proof helps.
content
Be clear on your view. The prompt asks if it is negative or positive. You may state your main view and also note any small positives.
grammar
Fix spelling and grammar errors. Change misspelled words (for example 'foriegn' to 'foreign') and break long sentences into shorter, simpler lines.
cohesion
Use simple connectors to link ideas and make the text flow better. Add words like 'also', 'however', 'but', 'so' to guide readers.
content
The text shows a clear main idea: FOMO is a main cause and travel may be seen as bad.
structure
There is a basic structure with introduction, middle and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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