IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some argue that universities should focus on preparing students for the job market, while others believe they should prioritize academic knowledge. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People have different views about whether
universities
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 should mainly prepare
students
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 for employment or concentrate on academic study.
While
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 I understand why some think
universities
Use synonyms
 should focus on academic knowledge, I believe that developing job-related skills is equally important in today’s world. On the one hand,
universities
Use synonyms
 have traditionally been seen as places for intellectual development. Many people argue that higher education should not simply be a training ground for jobs, but a place where
students
Use synonyms
 can explore ideas, develop critical thinking, and contribute to scientific or cultural progress.
For example
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, research-based courses in fields like philosophy or physics may not directly lead to jobs
but
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, but
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 they help society grow intellectually and technologically. If
universities
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 only focused on employment, these areas of study might be neglected.
On the other hand
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, the main reason people go to university nowadays is to secure a stable career. Employers increasingly expect graduates to have practical abilities
such
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 as teamwork, communication, and problem-solving. If
universities
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 design their programs to include internships, hands-on projects, and industry collaborations,
students
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 would be better prepared for the real working environment.
Moreover
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, focusing on employability helps reduce unemployment rates among graduates, which benefits the economy as a whole. In my opinion,
universities
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 should strike a balance between the two. Academic knowledge provides the foundation for innovation,
while
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 practical skills ensure that
students
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 can apply what they learn in real life. The most effective education system is one that combines both
—
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apply
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teaching theory
while
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also
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 preparing
students
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 for the demands of the job market.

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strength
Your essay has a clear plan and a balanced view. Keep this strength by restating your position in the opening and conclusion.
improvement
Add more clear facts or small real-life examples to back each point.
improvement
Some ideas are a bit general. Make the point in each paragraph stronger with a clear sentence.
improvement
Link ideas more with simple words to guide the reader from one point to the next.
improvement
Try to keep all lines short and use one main idea per paragraph.
improvement
End by restating your view in a simple last line.
improvement
Use more common words and fewer long or hard ones.
improvement
Add a short sentence in each paragraph that acts as a topic sentence.
content
Clear stance and balance of ideas.
structure
Good structure with clear opening and closing.
content
Examples connect to job and study well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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