It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. Dinosaurs, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

There is a heated debate among people
whether
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about whether
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the
extinction
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of animal
species
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such
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as Dinosaurs or dodos is
natural
Correct article usage
a natural
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phenomenon and whether humans have an obligation to stop it.
While
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I acknowledge that
extinction
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is
natural
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a natural
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process 
due to
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nature’s cycle,
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however
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apply
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I firmly believe that humans have
moral
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a moral
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duty to prevent
species
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from disappearing. It is true that
extinction
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is
natural
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a natural
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element of ecosystem dynamics because
environment
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the environment
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constantly
changes
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changes,
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that
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so
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some
species
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cannot
adopt
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adapt
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,
so
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and
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they gradually disappear
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while
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, while
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other
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others
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may survive.
This
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is exemplified by
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the wooly
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wooly
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woolly
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mammoth
become
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becoming
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extinct after
Ice
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the Ice
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Age because it was unable
for
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apply
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them
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apply
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to survive
from
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apply
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freezing temperatures and changes in its natural habitat.
This
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demonstrates how
extinction
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occur
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occurs
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naturally when
environment
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environmental
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conditions shift beyond
animals
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what animals
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to survive.
Therefore
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,
extinction
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is
natural
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a natural
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outcome when
species
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fail to
adopt
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adapt
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to environmental changes.  
Nevertheless
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, some
species
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are disappearing
due to
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human activities, and
this
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gives us moral obligation to protect animals. Deforestation, hunting, poaching and so on have accelerated the rate of
extinction
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of animal
species
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. Protecting animals is not only our duty
but
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, but
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also
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it is a way to save biodiversity as we
we
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apply
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rely on food, medicine and environmental stability.
For example
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, rhinos are often poached for their horns, bringing
it
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them
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to the brink of
extinction
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.
Consequently
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, preventing them saves not only biodiversity but
also
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balances
ecosystem
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the ecosystem
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.
To sum up
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,
although
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we cannot  save
extinctedanimal
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extinct animal
species
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such
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as dinosaurs or dodos
due to
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natural
Correct article usage
the natural
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cycle, I firmly believe that the current rate of
species
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loss is largely caused by human actions.
Therefore
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, humans have a moral and practical responsibility to prevent
further
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extinctions and preserve the planet’s biodiversity.

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structure
Your view is clear, but the plan is not well linked to each paragraph. Use a simple plan at the start and a short link at the end of each paragraph.
content
Some ideas show a good point. Try to add more full ideas and show how they lead to your main view.
grammar
There are many grammar mistakes and missing commas. Use short, plain sentences and check punctuation.
lexical
Use easier words and avoid long phrases. The ideas are good, but the form needs to be more clear.
content
Clear view on the topic
example
Good example of human impact on animals
structure
Intro and conclusion fit the task well
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • ecosystems
  • environmental ethics
  • habitat destruction
  • anthropogenic impact
  • ecological balance
  • natural selection
  • wildlife preservation
  • genetic diversity
  • endangered species
  • biological heritage
  • sustainable practices
  • Anthropocene
  • cascade effects
  • intrinsic value
  • habitat conservation
  • extinction crisis
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