IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The pie chart below shows how electricity is used in an average English home.

The pie chart below shows how electricity is used in an average English home.
The pie chart demonstrates
electricity
Use synonyms
 consumption percentages in 4 main categories in an average English home.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most
electricity
Use synonyms
 was used for heating rooms and heating water since the other categories’ rate was approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words, the pie chart
separated
Verb problem
is separated
show examples
 approximately half and half.
Electricity
Use synonyms
 was used for vacuum cleaners, food mixers and electric tools 15%
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 rate was
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 lighting, TV and radio. The difference with ovens, kettles, and washing machines was only 3%.
In other words
Linking Words
, ovens, kettles and washing machines had just below 20%.
However
Linking Words
, the most usage of
electricity
Use synonyms
 was consumed for heating rooms and water. 52%
electricity
Use synonyms
 was used for heating. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words, half of the energy was used for warming. As you can see,
3
Correct article usage
the 3
show examples
categories of
electricity
Use synonyms
 usage were nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 annual average
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 the category of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
warming was significantly higher than the others, the difference was just below 40%.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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