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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows components of GDP in the UK from 1992 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows components of GDP in the UK from 1992 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart illustrates
GDP
Use synonyms
 figures from IT and
service
Use synonyms
 industries in the UK,
from1992
Correct your spelling
from 1992
 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the IT
industry
Use synonyms
 experienced an extreme increase,
while
Linking Words
 the
service
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
 saw a slight growth during
this
Linking Words
 period. Examining the details, the
GDP
Use synonyms
 of IT reached around 6.1%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
GDP
Use synonyms
 of the
service
Use synonyms
 only gained 4% in 1992. Those figures had approximately a 2.1% difference.
Followed by
Wrong verb form
Following
show examples
 1994, the data of IT had risen almost 2% and the
GDP
Use synonyms
 of the
service
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
 had
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same pattern, about a 2.2% rise.
However
Linking Words
, the IT
industry
Use synonyms
 saw a decrease in 1996, and
then
Linking Words
acquired
Verb problem
experienced
show examples
 a significant increase in 1998. It was a 4.1% rise. Over time, the gap between these two categories
were
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 more and more
broaden
Wrong verb form
broadened
show examples
, since the
service
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
grew
Wrong verb form
has grown
show examples
 slightly and
relatively
Verb problem
is relatively
show examples
 stable. In 2000, the IT
industry
Use synonyms
 peaked
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 first place, around 15% of
GDP
Use synonyms
 in the UK. The gap
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 fields became the widest in
this
Linking Words
 calculation, an approximate 6.5% difference. In general,
although
Linking Words
 the IT
industry
Use synonyms
 had undergone a tiny fluctuation in these 8 years, it still reached
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 peak ultimately. The
GDP
Use synonyms
 of the
service
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
 saw a gradual increase, starting from 4% in 1992 and ending at 8.1% in 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words gdp, service, industry with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • components
  • GDP
  • consumption
  • investment
  • government spending
  • net exports
  • display
  • categories
  • largest
  • increase
  • stable
  • range
  • decline
  • fluctuate
  • gradual
  • positive values
  • negative values
  • overall
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