IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People continue to commit crimes even after being punished for it. Why do you think this happens? How can crime be stopped?

Human beings have always been drawn to both order and chaos, and no matter how many
laws
Use synonyms
 are written, the urge to commit crimes remains part of human nature. History shows that societies have always created rules to keep people safe, yet crimes continue to occur across every culture and time period.
This
Linking Words
 persistence suggests that crime is not simply the result of weak
laws
Use synonyms
, but rather something deeply rooted in human desires, emotions, and survival instincts. One reason crime cannot be fully eliminated is that people often act on impulse or strong emotions,
such
Linking Words
 as anger, jealousy, or desperation. In those moments, the existence of
laws
Use synonyms
 or the threat of punishment does little to stop someone from acting. Another factor is the natural human tendency toward ambition and greed. Many crimes are motivated by the desire for wealth, power, or status, things that
laws
Use synonyms
 cannot erase from the human heart.

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task
Add a clear answer to how to stop crime. give at least one concrete step and example.
development
Develop each idea with a little more detail and small examples.
structure
Add a short conclusion to wrap up what you say and to signal end of essay.
content
The essay has a clear main idea about why crime continues.
style
Sentences are short and easy to read.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • crime
  • stop
  • prevent
  • reason
  • cause
  • repeat
  • cycle
  • life
  • money
  • job
  • work
  • home
  • family
  • friends
  • school
  • education
  • care
  • help
  • support
  • health
  • mind
  • drugs
  • drug
  • alcohol
  • drink
  • addiction
  • police
  • law
  • rule
  • jail
  • prison
  • court
  • fair
  • safety
  • plan
  • policy
  • reform
  • rehab
  • training
  • housing
  • stable
  • opportunity
  • community
  • society
  • deter
  • discourage
What to do next:
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