IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows four countries of residence of overseas students in Australia. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows four countries of residence of overseas students in Australia. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates the proportions of
students
Use synonyms
 studying in Australia from four
countries
Use synonyms
 which are Indonesia, Hong Kong, Malaysia, and Singapore.
Overall
Linking Words
, three
countries
Use synonyms
 except Malaysia were close to 0 in the
beggining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 when the study started;
however
Linking Words
, the
numbers
Use synonyms
 grew rapidly
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it is clear that
Linking Words
 all the
countries
Use synonyms
 have large
numbers
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
. In 1982, approximately 5,000 Malaysian
students
Use synonyms
 were already in Australia, and the number
has been
Verb problem
remained
show examples
 stable until 1994; it grew sharply next four years
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
, however
show examples
, declined in 1999 and showed a recovery
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Hong Kong and Indonesia experienced a steep rise. The former showed fluctuations
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and peaked at close to 20,000
students
Use synonyms
 in 1997. The latter experienced
apprximately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 27,000 in 1998. Indonesia has
been
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the
biggest
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
 number of
students
Use synonyms
 since 1994.
However
Linking Words
, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
'
numbers
Use synonyms
 dropped significantly in 1999 and showed a recovery
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 year. Singapore grew steadily throughout the given period
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 the proportion did not decline even in 1999 when the other
countries
Use synonyms
 showed
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
show examples
 trend. Almost 20,000
students
Use synonyms
 study in
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is the second biggest
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 among
four
Correct article usage
the four
show examples
 nations.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, countries, numbers with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overseas students
  • country of residence
  • Australia
  • number of students
  • trends
  • highest
  • lowest
  • significant increase
  • decrease
  • stable trends
  • period
  • comparisons
  • highlight
  • potential reasons
  • factors
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