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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below gives information about the price of banana in four countries between 1994 and 2004

the graph below gives information about the price of banana in four countries between 1994 and 2004
The line chart
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 the
price
Use synonyms
 of
bananas
Use synonyms
 in
for
Use the right word
four
show examples
 nations (Japan, France, Germany, and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
) from 1994 to 2004. The units are measured in US
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
show examples
 per kilogram.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 Germany and France declined in its
price
Use synonyms
 of
bananas
Use synonyms
 over the period, Japan and the United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
growth
Replace the word
grew
show examples
, with Japan becoming the highest
price
Use synonyms
 by 2004. In 1994, Japan’s
price
Use synonyms
the
Verb problem
was the
show examples
 most, with just under $ 2.00,
whereas
Linking Words
 the USA recorded lower than 1.00 $. Japan’s
Use synonyms
bananas
Fix the agreement mistake
banana
show examples
price
Use synonyms
 rose consistently to peak slightly under $ 3.00 in 1995, before declining sharply
about
Change preposition
to about
show examples
 $ 2,00 by 1996. After 1996, it experienced considerable fluctuations
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
show examples
 $ 2.50 by the end of the period.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
 went up to slightly over $ 1.00 with minor fluctuations in
1990s
Correct article usage
the 1990s
show examples
 until
remained
Correct pronoun usage
it remained
show examples
 relatively stable
price
Use synonyms
 in
2000s
Correct article usage
the 2000s
show examples
. The lowest point over the period shown.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Germany’s
price
Use synonyms
 stood
nearly
Change preposition
at nearly
show examples
 $ 1.50 in 1994.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 amount
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 with some fluctuations to
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
slightly overtake
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Similarly
Linking Words
, France’s
bananas
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
price
Verb problem
cost
show examples
 more than $ 1.50, which remained unchanged in the next four years. After 19997, witnessed ups and downs in
Use synonyms
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of
bananas
Use synonyms
 to approximately $ 1.50 in 2004.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words price, bananas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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