IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Living in big cities today poses many problems for people. What are these problems? How can governments make urban life better?

It is often argued that living in huge
cities
Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
has increased
show examples
 dramatically.
However
Linking Words
, urban life often brings several difficulties for citizens. In
cities
Use synonyms
 construct new types of
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
.
Verb problem
are constructed.
show examples
 I believe the government should establish
structure
Correct article usage
a structure
show examples
 like urban areas. On major problem in large
cities
Use synonyms
 is overcrowding, which leads to traffic congestion and housing shortage. When the university and school started
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 who
come
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
 to the
cities
Use synonyms
 studying and it is impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the public transport crowded.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the cost of living has escalated in recent years.
As a result
Linking Words
, overpopulation in
cities
Use synonyms
 has increased, causing many residents to struggle with finding suitable accommodation.
For instance
Linking Words
, in England is the capital of London students
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
come to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
study at universities
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 there are plenty of issues with flats. To tackle these issues, governments should
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
encourage
inhabitant’s
Fix the agreement mistake
inhabitants’s
show examples
 better environment in the small towns
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as fresh air
as well as
Linking Words
 green nature.
For instance
Linking Words
,
The
Fix capitalization
the
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 Sweetland has a wonderful green nature in small towns.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they do not have overcrowded in the city. Another major problem is the education and job opportunities. As an illustration, if the government provides the
country
Replace the word
countryside
show examples
 sides more jobs, people
have
Verb problem
will
show examples
 never come to
cities
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, residents who live in a village
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have a better lifestyle since there are a less of factories and cars.
To sum up
Linking Words
, traffic jams in the big
cities
Use synonyms
 can be
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 by improving public transport
Correct word choice
and encourage
show examples
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
 people to use
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of cars. I firmly believe that the government should
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
build new academic buildings and healthcare structures.

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structure
Plan your essay. Start with a short intro that states the topic and aim. Then have 3 body paragraphs, each with one main idea. End with a clear conclusion.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling to avoid mistakes. Use simple, correct sentences and join ideas with 'and', 'but', 'then'.
content
Give more clear points. Explain each problem in full and give a clear solution for it. Use real or clear examples.
vocabulary
Use simple word choice. Avoid long or hard words. Use plain talk.
examples
When you name places, be clear. If you give examples, make them easy to see.
content
You touch the main city problems and the idea of moving to small towns.
content
You try to give a plan on how to fix traffic and homes.
examples
You use examples, like London, to show your point.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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