IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that a car is the best way to travel in city while other believe a bicycle is a better way. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

There are some different ideas
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 the best vehicle to
travel
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 some individuals believe
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 is the best
option
Use synonyms
, others claim that
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 is a better way.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 both
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
 and examine the advantages and disadvantages of them.
Firstly
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,
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 may be seen as a great
option
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 in some ways
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
convenince
Correct your spelling
convenience
, personal space, freedom to
travel
Use synonyms
 with
whole
Correct article usage
the whole
show examples
 family
mambers
Correct your spelling
members
.
Additionally
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, if there is an
ocassion
Correct your spelling
occasion
 to carry packages, shopping bags or even small
furnitures
Correct your spelling
furniture
, it is a
life saver
Use the right word
lifesaver
show examples
.
Furthermore
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, it is possible to
travel
Use synonyms
independetly
Correct your spelling
independently
 from the weather since there is an air conditioner in the
car
Use synonyms
. Despite these advantages, there are some drawbacks as well.
For example
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, traffic congestion is an unbearable issue for
each
Correct determiner usage
every
show examples
city
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, it may take too long to
travel
Use synonyms
 somewhere
even
Punctuation problem
, even
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 in a small
city
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, to deal with the heavy traffic bicycle may be a great
option
Use synonyms
. There is no necessity to be on the same road with the cars and have a
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
 way for them in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most cities.
Moreover
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, cycling regularly might
decrase
Correct your spelling
decrease
 the obesity rates, sedentary lifestyle and risk for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hearth
Use the right word
heart
show examples
 diseases. When it comes to
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
,
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
has
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 no harm to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature compared to the carbon
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 usage.
Neverthless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, riding a bike in a big
city
Use synonyms
 may bring some risks as well. Because
equipment
Correct article usage
the equipment
show examples
 to maintain safety is not sufficient compared to the cars. It is open to risks to get serious injuries
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the majority of
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
show examples
 end with
lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 of lives. In conclusion, both
travel
Use synonyms
 options in a
city
Use synonyms
 have both pros and cons.
However
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, despite the fact that not
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
nature friendly
Use the right word
nature-friendly
show examples
, I believe
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
in terms of safety and comfort
a
Punctuation problem
, a
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 is the better
option
Use synonyms
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban life.

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language
Fix many spelling and word form errors to help the reader.
structure
Make your ideas clear in each paragraph with a short topic sentence.
content
Give one clear example for each view and explain it.
idea
Shows both sides of the issue.
structure
Has an opening, main section and end.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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