IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Human society has made great technological progress in the last hundred years. Some people think this also has negative effects on our life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Over the centuries the substantial developments
were
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 made by
human-kinds
Use the right word
humankind
show examples
. There is an
overgoing
Correct word choice
ongoing
show examples
 debate that says whether it has only positivities, meanwhile others believe that
affects
Correct pronoun usage
it affects
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 our living negatively. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 view,
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 was the main reason for the facilities , technologies and the modern
life-style
Use the right word
lifestyle
show examples
, it
cost
Verb problem
is
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 really expensive,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just the small-look
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the environment , the effect of
this
Linking Words
 can be
said
Verb problem
seen
show examples
. On the one hand,
human-beings
Use the right word
human beings
show examples
 progressed really well
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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lead
Wrong verb form
led
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 to modern technologies,
skycrapers
Correct your spelling
skyscrapers
,
establishment
Correct article usage
the establishment
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 of many
unkown
Correct your spelling
unknown
 secrets and the dominance of people over the Earth, especially in the early AD years when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
subjects like chemistry, physics , astronomy and
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
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 crucial subjects were established
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 played
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
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 role in the development of householding , planting and farming.Another year of massive progression was
renessiance
Correct your spelling
Renaissance
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is known for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scholar
Fix the agreement mistake
scholars
show examples
 like Avitsena, Al-Khwarizmi and Dalton.In these
years
Punctuation problem
years,
show examples
 we
purchased
Verb problem
acquired
show examples
 a lot of knowledge
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 raised the awareness of people and the average IQ levels.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in the way of the well-being
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
 sacrificed by many, for the infrastructures they decreased the territory of wild animals
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are endangered now, for the cars and the mass-producing
factories
Punctuation problem
factories,
show examples
 they lose the clean atmosphere.Today's environment is
worst
Correct word choice
worse
show examples
among all years
just
Punctuation problem
, just
show examples
 with knowledge and supplies they are surviving,
however
Linking Words
, they are not infinite. In conclusion,
Despite
Fix capitalization
despite
show examples
 the the
fast-steps
Use the right word
steps
show examples
 in the direction of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
development by human society , they are
loosing
Use the right word
losing
show examples
 something
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 every discovery and invention.

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task response
Say your view in a clear line at the start and keep it in the rest of the essay.
coherence
Plan a short opening, then use body paragraphs with clear topic sentences to show your main points.
task response
Give reasons for your view, explain how progress helps and hurts, and add simple examples, not just facts.
coherence
Use linking words to show order and show contrasts, like 'also', 'but', 'however', and 'in addition'.
language
Check grammar and keep sentences short and clear to avoid mistakes.
idea
The writer tries to show both sides of progress and its cost.
structure
The essay links science, modern life and the need to care for the environment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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