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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with their academic subjects at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that school children should learn practical
skills
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such
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 as car maintenance or bank account management
in addition
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 to their academic
subjects
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.
While
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 these
skills
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 are undoubtedly useful in daily life, I completely disagree with
this
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 idea because schools should focus on academic development, and practical
skills
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 can be learned effectively outside the classroom.
Firstly
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, academic
subjects
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 already require a great deal of time and effort for
students
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 to master.
Subjects
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 like mathematics, science, and languages are fundamental for a child’s intellectual growth and future career opportunities. If schools were to add practical skill lessons to the curriculum,
students
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 might have insufficient time to study these essential
subjects
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.
This
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 could result in lower academic performance and higher levels of stress.
For example
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, in many Asian countries where
students
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 already face a heavy workload, additional courses could overwhelm them and reduce their motivation to learn.
Therefore
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, maintaining a focus on academics helps
students
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 build a strong foundation for their future studies and professional development.
Moreover
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, practical
skills
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 can be learned more effectively through real-life experiences. Children can gain
such
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 knowledge by helping their parents, joining community workshops, or attending extracurricular programs.
For instance
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, financial institutions and youth
centers
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centres
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 often
organize
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organise
show examples
 sessions where teenagers learn how to manage money or open a bank account. These activities allow
students
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 to learn in a flexible and engaging environment without disrupting their academic schedule. In conclusion,
although
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 practical
skills
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 are beneficial, they should not be taught alongside academic
subjects
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 at school.
Instead
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, schools should remain focused on academic excellence,
while
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 families and communities can play an important role in helping children gain useful life
skills
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 outside the classroom.

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improvement
State your view clearly at the start and keep to it. Add more proof or example to show why you think this way.
improvement
Make a plan before you write. Use a clear topic sentence in each paragraph to show what you will talk about.
tip
Use simple linking words to show how ideas are linked, like first, also, but, so, therefore.
improvement
Try to show a small balance. You can mention one good point from the other side and then say why it is not as strong.
stance
The writer shows a clear view from the start.
coherence
There is a good use of sign posts to move from idea to idea.
structure
Conclusion restates the view in a simple way.
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