Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is immense ‎pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing ‎pollution. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.‎

Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about whether the rapidly increasing number of
vehicles
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in
cities
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is the main cause of
pollution
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,
while
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others believe that industries are the major contributors to
this
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problem. In my opinion,
although
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both factors play a significant role, industrial activities have a greater negative impact on the environment. On the one hand, many countries lack an efficient public transport system, so citizens prefer to use their own cars to travel.
This
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leads to a large number of private
vehicles
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on the roads, causing heavy traffic and increasing air
pollution
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in big
cities
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.
For example
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, in developing countries
such
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as India or Indonesia, the lack of efficient public transport forces people to depend on private
vehicles
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, which not only contributes to severe traffic congestion but
also
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negatively affects air quality in major
cities
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.
On the other hand
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, industrialisation
also
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plays a major role in increasing
pollution
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levels. Nowadays, many countries are becoming more industrialised, but in less developed nations, there is still a lack of proper environmental regulations and monitoring systems.
As a result
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, many factories release smoke and toxic chemicals directly into the air and water without any filtration.
This
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situation causes serious harm to both nature and human health.
For instance
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, in some industrial regions, local people suffer from breathing problems and polluted drinking water because factories operate without strict controls.
Therefore
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, it can be said that industrialisation has a greater long-term impact on the environment than the growing number of
vehicles
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in
cities
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. In conclusion, both
vehicles
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and industries cause
pollution
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, but industrialisation has a greater and longer-lasting impact on the environment. Governments should control factory emissions and encourage cleaner production to reduce
this
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problem

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improvement
Use more clear and exact ideas. Add more details to each point.
error correction
Watch grammar and word choice, but keep simple words.
tips
Keep the flow with quick linking words and short sentences to help the reader.
strength
The writer states a clear view and includes their opinion.
strength
There is a clear structure with an intro, two body parts and a conclusion.
strength
Examples are used to back up points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban congestion
  • air quality
  • emission standards
  • greenhouse gases
  • carbon footprint
  • toxic emissions
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable practices
  • clean technology
  • public health concerns
  • mitigation strategies
  • noise pollution
  • renewable energy
  • electric vehicles
  • industrial waste
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