Some people think that the individuals who make the most money are the most successful. Others believe that the most successful are those who contribute to society, such as scientists and teachers. Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion?

Meaning

Correct article usage

The meaning

show examples

success

Use synonyms

is different from person to person.

One on

Correct word order

On one

show examples

hand, a group of

people

Use synonyms

think that a lot of

money

Use synonyms

can bring

success

Use synonyms

to them,

on the other hand

Linking Words

, other thinks

Change preposition

that

show examples

doing something for

society

Use synonyms

Linking Words

for

Punctuation problem

, for

show examples

example,

serve

Wrong verb form

serving

show examples

education, treatment

Punctuation problem

, etc.

show examples

etc.

Punctuation problem

etc.,

show examples

could bring

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

real

success

Use synonyms

. The essay will examine

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

both statements and provide a personal opinion.

To have

Wrong verb form

Having

show examples

a sufficient amount of

money

Use synonyms

has numerous benefits. For instate, if one has enough

money

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

will have the best education, treatment, and recreational facilities.

Moreover

Linking Words

, tension regarding how to manage

money

Use synonyms

for emergencies

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

will not bother. One has mental peace

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

when there is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

plenty of

money

Use synonyms

because

money

Use synonyms

makes

people

Use synonyms

less vulnerable during

critical

Correct article usage

a critical

show examples

situation. There is no

debet

Correct your spelling

debate

about that in every

stages

Fix the agreement mistake

stage

show examples

life

Use synonyms

money

Punctuation problem

, money

show examples

plays a considerable role.

Therefore

Linking Words

who

Correct pronoun usage

whoever

show examples

holds more

money

Use synonyms

society

Use synonyms

itself provides them

Correct article usage

show examples

eliets

Correct your spelling

elite

tag.

However

Linking Words

, sometimes

money

Use synonyms

can minimise the ethical value of a

persons

Fix the agreement mistake

person

show examples

. There is

Correct article usage

show examples

popular statement, which is

Use synonyms

money

Correct determiner usage

that money

show examples

brings

arrogent

Correct your spelling

arrogance

as well. So, despite

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a large amount of benefits, it has disadvantages too.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are a large number of

people

Use synonyms

who chose novel professions so that they can contribute to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, during

covid

Use the right word

COVID

show examples

, doctors serve the world -month after month-including day and night. Many of them lost their

life

Use synonyms

during

covid

Correct article usage

the COVID

show examples

period as they

also

Linking Words

contraminited

Correct your spelling

contaminated

while

Linking Words

they were providing treatment.

Although

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

the

Use the right word

they

show examples

lost their

life

Use synonyms

but

earn

Wrong verb form

earned

show examples

a lot of respect and

preyer

Use the right word

prayer

show examples

from

people

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

unconditional love can not

buy

Wrong verb form

be bought

show examples

for the sake of anything

not

Punctuation problem

, not

show examples

even

money

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, teachers

scientists

Correct word choice

and scientists

show examples

are

serveing

Correct your spelling

serving

society

Use synonyms

by their valuable service. Though they do not have a huge amount of

money

Use synonyms

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

earn respect and mental satisfaction.

To conclude

Linking Words

, both sides have pros and cons

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

however

Linking Words

, my personal opinion is

Use synonyms

success

Correct word choice

that success

show examples

should

measure

Wrong verb form

be measured

show examples

by satisfaction

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

I believe it comes

Change preposition

from

show examples

serveing

Correct your spelling

serving

people

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

nation

Correct article usage

the nation

show examples

Although

Linking Words

importance

Correct article usage

the importance

show examples

money

Use synonyms

life

Use synonyms

can not be ignored but for

Add a comma

me,

show examples

success

Use synonyms

is personal satisfaction, which comes by doing something for others.

farzia39

Oct 14, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Begin with a clear view in the first paragraph. Say what side you take and why in one sentence.

coherence cohesion

Use a main idea at the start of each paragraph and add one or two simple examples.

grammar

Check grammar and spelling in every paragraph, especially small words like a, an, the, and prepositions.

lexical resource

Choose easy words and short sentences to keep the meaning clear.

task response

Give one or two good examples for each point and keep them simple.

task response

There is a clear attempt to discuss both sides and to give an opinion.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a proper end with the writer's view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
48
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

347 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In the modern age, there is an upward tendency among children to dedicate several hours a day to working on their phones. While it may stem from their curiosity and the prevalence of technology, I contend that it is highly detrimental for them due to the reasons this essay further elaborates on.
7.5
band
Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It's often argued that drawing should declared as one of the primary subjects at the school. I completely agree with this, as art helps in developing our imaginary skills and mental well-being.
7.5
band
You would like t reduce your working hours in order to study part time. write a letter to your boss. explain why you want to reduce your working hours. say which hows you would like to work, describe how your part-time studies world kenefit your employer.
I am writing to regard my working schedule change from full-time to part-time.
7
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
There is an ongoing debate surrounding more and more people, instead of asking doctors for treatment, tend to use treatments from other sources. From this writer's perspective, this situation leads to alternative drugs' side effects, despite some suggesting a short-term disease cure.
6.5
band
Some people say it is important to keep your home and work tidy with everything organized and in the correct places, what is your opinion about it?
In this contemporary epoch, keeping the home and work tidy and organized is an essential topic to discuss and analyze at the same time that most people are interested in daily. In the recent time, this point is important. Otherwise, it is controversial. It is important to speak about the pros and cons of keeping the home and work tidy and organized.

Some people think that the individuals who make the most money are the most successful. Others believe that the most successful are those who contribute to society, such as scientists and teachers. Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You would like t reduce your working hours in order to study part time. write a letter to your boss. explain why you want to reduce your working hours. say which hows you would like to work, describe how your part-time studies world kenefit your employer.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and work tidy with everything organized and in the correct places, what is your opinion about it?