IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The number of people taking part in a wildlife survey in Britain between 2001 and 2009.

The table illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
adults
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 and
children
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 who participated in a wildlife survey in the United Kingdom between 2001 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
,
adults
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 consistently accounted for the majority of participants over the period,
although
Linking Words
 their
number
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 decreased slightly
after
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
years
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
children
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 rose steadily, ending the period with a dramatic increase that made their participation equal to that of
adults
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. In 2001, only 48,000 people took part in the survey, including 36,000
adults
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 and 12,000
children
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.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
adults
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 showed a sharp increase just
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
after two
years
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
in contrast
Linking Words
, in 2003,
adults
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 reached around 212,000,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of
children
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 recorded trebled to 36,000. After 2005,
adults
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 and
children
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 experienced a small decline in
participates
Replace the word
participation
show examples
Use synonyms
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
 by
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years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
.
Adults
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 were 331,000 in 2007,
Use synonyms
children
Correct word choice
and children
show examples
 were 31,000. In 2009, the
number
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 of
children
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 increased sharply from 31,000 to 270,000,
while
Linking Words
adults
Use synonyms
 continued to decrease to just around 270,000.

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Task response
Check the task and give the full data from the table with correct numbers for each year.
Structure
Make a clean plan with an intro, body on each year, and a short end, so the idea is easy to follow.
Coherence
Keep the flow with linking words and clear lines between parts.
Accuracy
Double-check numbers and the trend, and show true trends you see in the data.
Overview
There is an overall view at the start.
Idea
The idea of more kids later and fewer adults is shown.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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