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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie charts show the reasons for immigrants to a European country in 2009 and the reasons for immigrants from a european country in 2009

The pie charts show the reasons for immigrants to a European country in 2009 and the reasons for immigrants from a european country in 2009
The basis for immigrants to a
European
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
 and the fundamental objects for immigrants from a
European
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
 are demonstrated in the provided charts in 2009
year
Check wording
apply
show examples
. Looking
Change preposition
at an
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 structure, it is readily apparent that,
reasons
Use synonyms
 for
emigrate
Wrong verb form
emigrating
show examples
 to a
European
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
superior
Verb problem
are superior
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 in accompany/family, other
reasons
Use synonyms
, study and no
reason
Use synonyms
 section
Linking Words
while the
Change preposition
The
show examples
reasons
Use synonyms
 for those who leave a
European
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
 prevail in definite
job
Use synonyms
 and
look
Wrong verb form
looking
show examples
 for a
job
Use synonyms
. The highest position for immigrants to a
European
Use synonyms
country
Use synonyms
 belongs to
Correct article usage
the accompany
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accompany
Wrong verb form
accompanying
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/family
while
Linking Words
 the lowest part is for
no
Correct article usage
the no
show examples
reason
Use synonyms
 category.
According to
Linking Words
 the details, the category of accompany/family accounted for 25% as the most preferred way to migrate to a
European
Use synonyms
 nation and followed by
definite
Correct article usage
a definite
show examples
job
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 constituted 23%. The other
reasons
Use synonyms
,
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 and
look
Wrong verb form
looking
show examples
 for
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
job
Punctuation problem
job,
show examples
 experienced the same level
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 comprised 15% with the exception of no
Use synonyms
reason
Punctuation problem
reason,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 showed 7% in 2009. Looking at he information more
detailed
Change preposition
in detail
show examples
, indication of definite
job
Use synonyms
 section amounted to 38% closely followed by other
reasons
Use synonyms
, accompany/family, look for
job
Use synonyms
 and study with 23%, 15%, 13%, and 7% respectively.
Also
Linking Words
,
no
Correct article usage
the no
show examples
reason
Use synonyms
 category in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pie charts remained the lowest ratio
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was equal 4% in migrating from a
European
Use synonyms
 nation in 2009.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words european, country, reasons, reason, job with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • migration trends
  • vibrant job market
  • foreign talent
  • educational pursuits
  • family reunification
  • seeking asylum
  • safe haven
  • dissatisfaction
  • specialized training
  • quality of life
  • economic factors
  • social factors
  • personal factors
  • push and pull factors
  • nuanced understanding
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