Some people believe that the personal happiness is directly related with the economic success. Others argue that the happiness depends on completely other factors. Discuss both of the views and give your own opinion.

The issue of whether personal

happiness

Use synonyms

is determined by economic

success

Use synonyms

has generated considerable debate. Some individuals strongly believe that financial

success

Use synonyms

is the key to

happiness

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others argue that

happiness

Use synonyms

mainly depends on non-material factors

such

Linking Words

autonomy

Use synonyms

and work-

life

Use synonyms

balance.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both perspectives and critically examine the arguments for and against each view. It will

then

Linking Words

conclude with my own opinion on the matter, based on the analysis presented. Supporters of economic

success

Use synonyms

argue that money helps people

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their basic needs.

For instance

Linking Words

, having enough income allows individuals to access quality healthcare services and live in a comfortable environment.

This

Linking Words

shows that financial stability can lead to a sense of security and reduce stress about daily

life

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as paying bills or medical costs.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, economic

success

Use synonyms

advocates contend that wealth provides people with more

life

Use synonyms

choices and opportunities. They believe that

this

Linking Words

approach offers a better quality of

life

Use synonyms

and ensures a stable foundation for personal

happiness

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, proponents of financial

success

Use synonyms

see it as an effective solution to improving people’s well-being.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, those who support other factors argue that

happiness

Use synonyms

comes more from

autonomy

Use synonyms

and

life

Use synonyms

control. They believe that work-

life

Use synonyms

balance and personal freedom offer more meaningful satisfaction than money alone.

In contrast

Linking Words

to economic

success

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

view focuses on emotional and mental health, which might prevent stress and burnout.

According to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

perspective, people who can manage their time well and make their own

life

Use synonyms

decisions often feel more fulfilled and relaxed.

Additionally

Linking Words

, supporters of

this

Linking Words

view argue that

happiness

Use synonyms

is long-lasting when it comes from personal growth, meaningful goals, and good relationships, rather than just financial achievements. In conclusion, both economic

success

Use synonyms

and other factors offer strong arguments about personal

happiness

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, after considering both sides, I believe that

autonomy

Use synonyms

and work-

life

Use synonyms

balance are more important for long-term

happiness

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

financial stability has its benefits, emotional freedom and self-control provide a more balanced and satisfying

life

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, focusing on

autonomy

Use synonyms

and mental well-being is the most effective way to achieve true

happiness

Use synonyms

sammi1747

Oct 16, 2025

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structure

Make the plan clear at the start and end. State your view in the first line and rest it at the end.

content

Give one or two clear examples for each view to support your point.

language

Use simple linking to show contrast between ideas.

paraphrase

Keep one idea in each paragraph. Try to be short and clear.

content

The essay shows both sides and gives an opinion.

structure

Good end with a definite view.

content

Examples make points easy to see.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

347 words

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