IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, it is very easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, this causes some people to have problems with debts they cannot pay back. Do you think the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #credit #card #people #debts #cards
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In the era of globalization, new methods of payment have been generated.
credit
cards
 simplest the payment system by purchasing anything without having cash
money
.
However
, there is a debate on
this
 argument .
As a result
, a wide range of individuals could face some obstacles with debts and they may not be able to pay them back. In
this
 essay, I will illustrate the benefits and its hazards. On the one hand,
credit
cards
 played a crucial role in the market recently. It assists people who do not have
money
 with them and is paid with a card alternatively.
This
 way made the people's
money
 more secure and diminished the robbery in many areas.
In addition
, It affords more
money
 than in your bank
credit
,
thus
 it can help to purchase essential daily products.
For instance
, In Egypt, when you pay with a
credit
 card you have about 55 days to pay back them without interest.
This
 idea helped citizens to buy their needs effortlessly. Ultimately, some studies assume that
money
 is a source of infection.
Hence
, the number of diseases that can be transferred from cash will decline over time if we reduce using cash
money
.
On the other hand
, a wide range of banks provides more interest
while
 utilizing these
cards
. These interests can put more burdens on individuals.
In other words
, they will struggle to pay back or they will be jailed.
For example
, a diverse range of women are jailed in Egypt
due to
 the instalments. These women are not able to pay and talk a final judgment for 3 years .
Moreover
,
This
 can have an unfavourable side effect on the economy. Many banks will lend
money
 to citizens and if
this
money
 is not back can cause a povetry to the bank. In conclusion, I believe that the pros overshadowed the cons. It will help people.
However
, the government should put strict rules
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
 these
cards
 to ensure
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will not ruin the country.
Submitted by mohannadsme on

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task response
Clarify the thesis statement and ensure it directly addresses whether the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitional phrases between paragraphs to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
task response
Correct grammatical errors and ensure consistent capitalization (e.g., 'credit cards' should be 'Credit Cards').
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a well-organized introduction and conclusion.
task response
The essay provides relevant examples to support the points made.
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