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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The maps below show how student accommodation changed after redevelopment in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show how student accommodation changed after redevelopment in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The map below shows how
student
Use synonyms
accommodation
Use synonyms
 changed after
redevelopment
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, a comparison of the two maps reveals that after
redevelopment
Use synonyms
, the
student
Use synonyms
accommodation
Use synonyms
 became larger and modern, with the addition of several
facilities
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
student
Use synonyms
-
bedroom
Use synonyms
 en-suites
Use synonyms
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
. In 2010, the
accommodation
Use synonyms
 had very basic
facilities
Use synonyms
. The bathroom is in the middle, and in the west and north corners of it , there is a
garden
Use synonyms
. In
Hallway
Correct article usage
the Hallway
show examples
, there are no
facilities
Use synonyms
. Above
students'
Correct article usage
the students'
show examples
room
Use synonyms
, the kitchen and
students'
Correct article usage
the students'
show examples
bedroom
Use synonyms
. Beyond
students'
Correct article usage
the students'
show examples
room
Use synonyms
, there is the living
room
Use synonyms
. Below, there is a big
Garden
Use synonyms
,
no
Correct word choice
with no
show examples
 additional
facilities
Use synonyms
 provided. After the
redevelopment
Use synonyms
, the
student
Use synonyms
accommodation
Use synonyms
 experienced a really big upgrade. In the western corner of the
Use synonyms
garden
Punctuation problem
garden,
show examples
 replaced by
student
Use synonyms
's
bedroom
Use synonyms
.
Verb problem
was replaced.
show examples
 In
south
Correct article usage
the south
show examples
, the
garden
Use synonyms
 became a car parking place. In
hallway
Correct article usage
the hallway
show examples
, they constructed
Correct article usage
an En-suit
show examples
En-suit
Use the right word
En-suite
show examples
room
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the
bedroom
Use synonyms
 became bigger, the kitchen added a social
room
Use synonyms
. Beyond the
garden
Use synonyms
, a
bedroom
Use synonyms
 was installed.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
redevelopment
Use synonyms
 transformed
student
Use synonyms
accommodation
Use synonyms
 from simple
facilities
Use synonyms
 to a larger and more convenient place, offering more gates and parking.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words student, accommodation, redevelopment, facilities, room, garden, bedroom with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changed" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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