IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some say that young
people
Use synonyms
 should
also
Linking Words
 consider saving up
money
Use synonyms
 for their future. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, since the sooner youngsters start to lay
money
Use synonyms
 aside, the
highest
Replace the word
higher
show examples
 their financial security is going to be later.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the economy is in a continuous state of rises and falls.
Thus
Linking Words
, living completely dependent on one form of income is not reliable. Anything could happen.
For example
Linking Words
, if health deteriorates and it's impossible to work for a few days, having
money
Use synonyms
 to spare can provide a huge sense of
relif
Correct your spelling
relief
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, if the opposite occurs, not being prepared for a sudden change can make the situation more difficult than it is. Even though most media encourages
people
Use synonyms
, especially the youth, to live in the moment and
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not worry about tomorrow, having
money
Use synonyms
 offers safety
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is necessary for
people
Use synonyms
's well-being.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, despite what everyone might say,
money
Use synonyms
 is necessary to be able to live a good life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it's important to be responsible about it. If
people
Use synonyms
 only begin to worry about
money
Use synonyms
 in their twenties, they will make a lot of mistakes in the beginning.
However
Linking Words
, if that preoccupation starts before, by that age, they will already know how to deal with finances,
hence
Linking Words
 being more responsible
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and dependable. In conclusion, caring about saving up
money
Use synonyms
 for the future is very important since it protects
people
Use synonyms
's emotional well-being, as it allows them to be ready for emergencies, and it transforms them into more down-to-earth individuals.

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content
Make your main ideas in each para clear and add a real example for each one.
coherence
Add simple linking words to show how ideas fit together, like also, but, for example, and however.
grammar
Check small mistakes in spelling and grammar so your meaning is clear.
stance
A clear position is shown in favour of saving money.
relevance
Money can help in emergencies, which is a strong point.
relevance
The topic fits the task and has ideas that go with it.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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