IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In conclusion, some believe that most cities will be less habitable over time due to urban expansion and lack of air clean. However, some suggest that breakthrough technologies drastically improves the environment more healthy. In my opinion, although technology absolutely prevents environmental harm, individuals should aware about living sustainability.

There is an ongoing debate about whether urban areas will remain liveable in the future. Some argue that rising
pollution
Use synonyms
 levels and the inevitable growth of urban populations will make
cities
Use synonyms
 less habitable. Meanwhile, others believe that technological improvements will prevent
such
Linking Words
 problems.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both perspectives before giving a personal view. It is often argued that
pollution
Use synonyms
 and overcrowding contribute the most to the possibility of uninhabitable urban areas. Nowadays, many people choose to live in metropolitan
cities
Use synonyms
 because they provide convenient and easy access to jobs. When the number of people increases, the demand for transportation and housing is more likely to rise.
Consequently
Linking Words
, urban areas not only become densely populated but
also
Linking Words
 heavily polluted.
According to
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 a recent survey,
pollution
Use synonyms
 levels have increased by around 10% each year in Jakarta
as a result
Linking Words
 of reduced green spaces, urban expansion, and greater dependence on multiple transport modes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many argue that technological innovation can mitigate these challenges by improving urban efficiency and environmental management. Many technology companies have shifted their focus towards developing sustainable technologies. DHL,
for example
Linking Words
, has adopted sustainable fuels in its transportation operations as a part of its campaign to reduce
carbon
Correct pronoun usage
its carbon
show examples
 footprint.
Form
Use the right word
From
show examples
this
Linking Words
, the company successfully lowered its
overall
Linking Words
 emissions.
Such
Linking Words
 advancements demonstrate how technology can reduce urban
pollution
Use synonyms
 levels, thereby helping
cities
Use synonyms
 remain clean and liveable in the long term. In conclusion, some believe that most
cities
Use synonyms
 will be less habitable over time
due to
Linking Words
 urban expansion and a lack of air clean.
However
Linking Words
, others suggest that breakthrough technologies greatly make
cities
Use synonyms
 more
liveable
Replace the word
livable
show examples
. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 technology
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 able to reduce environmental harm, individuals must
also
Linking Words
 be aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the importance of living sustainably to ensure long-term urban livability.

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grammar
Fix grammar and form. For example, say 'technology is' not 'technology are', and 'From this' not 'Form this'. Use 'clean air' instead of 'air clean'.
structure
Make the intro clear and end with a clear thesis. In the conclusion, restate your view.
coherence
Use simple linking words to move ideas: 'first', 'also', 'but', 'therefore', to help flow.
examples
Develop each point with a clear, specific example and explain how it supports your view.
lexis
Keep vocabulary short and precise. Keep a formal tone and avoid long phrases.
structure
Organize the essay so each paragraph has one main idea and a clear topic sentence.
structure
The essay shows a clear plan with an intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
content
The writer covers both sides of the issue and gives a personal view.
content
There is a real example (Jakarta pollution, DHL) that supports points.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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