IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads319M4 To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

More and more
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays choose railways in their daily
travel
Use synonyms
 rather than roads ,so
theyperceive
Correct your spelling
they perceive
 it necessary for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to spend more money on railways
instead
Linking Words
 of roads.completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea.
Railway
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 is an
eflective
Correct your spelling
effective
 way to relieve traffic jams and it makes
travel
Use synonyms
 more efficient.With
thedevelopment
Correct your spelling
the development
 of technology and the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's wealth,an increasing
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of cars
haveappeared
Correct your spelling
have appeared
 on the
cities’roads
Correct your spelling
cities
 which makes cities always be crowded and really slows the traffic.
Onthe
Correct your spelling
On the
 contrary,
Use synonyms
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 will never be affected by the heavy traffic,it can keep its high speed under
anycircumstances
Correct your spelling
any circumstances
,especially during
New
Correct article usage
the New
show examples
year
Fix capitalization
Year
show examples
 holidays,when it almost takes
people
Use synonyms
 driving a car
twiceas
Correct your spelling
twice as
 long to
back
Verb problem
get back
show examples
 to their hometown
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
 their counterparts choosing
railway
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Then
Punctuation problem
Then,
show examples
.once therailway
Correct your spelling
once the railway
 is significantly developed,more
people
Use synonyms
 will choose not to buy a car
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will solve
theproblem
Correct your spelling
the problem
 of crowded cities.
Railway
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 a more environmentally
firiendly
Correct your spelling
friendly
 way and
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
show examples
 less resources than
roadtransport
Correct your spelling
road transport
.Harmful gas like CO2 emitted from cars endangers the environment,making
earth’temperature
Correct your spelling
temperature
 rise yearly and contributing to frequent extreme weather events .Plus, cars consume
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of fossil
fiuels
Correct your spelling
fuels
, which
is non
Verb problem
are
show examples
renewable
Replace the word
non-renewable
show examples
.If these resources can be saved,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will be used in
morenecessary
Correct your spelling
more necessary
 construction projects like military and science.These issues will all have
a long- termimpacts
Correct your spelling
long-term impacts
 on the well-being of
people
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 the
railway
Use synonyms
 transport will never have these
sideeffects
Correct your spelling
side effects
.
it's
Fix capitalization
It's
show examples
 friendly to the environment and
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
 little. In conclusion,I believe that it is definitely a good idea for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to spend more on
railwaydevelopment
Correct your spelling
railway development
 than on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
roads.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
The essay has a clear view, but it fits poor links and order. Fix this by using a plan: intro, two body parts, and a short end.
grammar
Use easy and correct grammar. A few long sentences should be broken into two. Check spellings like 'eflective' and 'fi-'.
structure
Make one strong main point for each paragraph. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
content
Add clear facts or small, real examples to back up ideas.
content
The writer shows a clear wish to support railways.
expression
The idea is easy to read for the reader.
structure
A call to action is clear in the end.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: