IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is often discussed
hat
Use the right word
that
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 many higher authorities claim that  financial
prosperityis
Correct your spelling
prosperity is
 the most significant aim for a nation;
however
Linking Words
, some citizens argue that the other sorts of
sectors
Use synonyms
, including
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
education, security and other public services, have equal importance in the state. In the essay, I will discuss both perspectives and my own. On the one hand, when a state has financial stability and grows economically and socially, it gets recognition in the world and earns more funds. These funds can be used for the development of other sorts of services. If governments do not pay attention to the economy's growth, it becomes a cause of inflation.To exemplify, in 2013, India faced severe inflation
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 because of a decline in finance, which caused an increase in the number of crimes,diseases, and loss of food resources.
Overall
Linking Words
, a downturn in the financial progress of a nation impacts on economy and other
sectors
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, other appearances must have balanced importance for the effectiveness and sovereignty of a state. If management invests funds in other
sectors
Use synonyms
, including Interpol and local police
sectors
Use synonyms
, felonies can be reduced. When governments are negligent in these
sectors
Use synonyms
, eventually it will affect the lives of citizens.To exemplify, South Korea is a financially stable country, but there are many cyber crimes, one known as 'Molak'. A person has installed the cameras in women's lavatories to watch their videos.
This
Linking Words
 unfortunate incident affected the mental health of the victims. In conclusion,
In
Fix capitalization
in
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 my opinion, both points of view have equal importance, because without  proper balance, a country is not able to survive.

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coherence
Make your two sides more clear. Say what you think and why, with one clear idea for each side.
coherence
Use link words to show how your ideas fit together. Keep ideas in the same order.
task
Give real or closer examples. Explain how they show the point.
language
Check small spelling and phrase to be correct.
structure
Your plan is easy to follow and you give your own view.
conclusion
You end with a clear conclusion that says what you think.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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