IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

There are those who feel that a university education is the doorway to a successful life, and others who consider that this notion is obsolete. Discuss both perspectives and provide your viewpoint.

Nowadays, many
people
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 still believe that a
university
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education
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 is crucial so that one can build a safe and successful future. Yet, other
people
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 believe that today, with the modern world, there are alternative methods of becoming successful, and formal
education
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 is not among those. Both arguments will be covered in
this
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 essay, and my personal opinion will
also
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 be shared. Proponents of tertiary
education
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 contend that certain professions require formal qualifications to enter. Careers in medicine, law, and engineering,
for example
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, require years of
university
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 coursework and vocational training. To become a physician,
for example
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, one must attend medical school and pass licensing exams before being allowed to practice. It would be impossible to pursue
such
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 paths in the absence of a degree.
However
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, the majority of individuals believe that
success
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 is not always academic
success
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.
People
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 can pursue careers or entrepreneurship without a degree in the modern age. Traits
such
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 as creativity, determination, and leadership are generally more vital than
education
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.
For example
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, the majority of successful businessmen have established successful businesses founded on vision and hard work, not
education
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. Actually, research has revealed that most successful rich
people
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 achieved
success
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 in areas that were not related to their college major or without even going to
university
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altogether
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at altogether
show examples
. In sum,
while
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 I agree that some careers unequivocally require a
university
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 degree, I believe that formal
education
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 is not always the only route to
success
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. In most cases, individuals are able to achieve great things through experience, aptitude, and motivation, especially in areas like entrepreneurship or the arts.

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structure
Plan with two sides and a clear view. Use one idea per paragraph and keep it simple.
evidence
Use one strong example per point and avoid very long or odd phrases.
language
Use short, easy words. Break long sentences into two parts.
content
Check facts. Some lines feel vague or not backed by proof.
strength
Clear choice of topic and plan to discuss both sides
structure
Good use of linking words to move from one idea to the next
evidence
Examples relate to real jobs and life
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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