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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some parents believe that children need strict rules. Other parents believe children should have a lot of freedom to make decisions on their own. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Every individual has its own ideology for parenting. Some people believe that it is necessary that
children
Use synonyms
 sholud follow strict rules, others argue that they should be given the opportunity to take decisions themselves. I agree with the later statement, as it is highly advantangeous. Following a specific set of rules can help in making a
child
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 more disciplined. If a
child
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 follows a fixed schedule everyday, he/she will eventually develop the habit in his/her daily routine.
For example
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, if the parents have made a complusion on going to bed and waking up early, the
child
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 will obey
this
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 rule even as an adult.
As a result
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 practicing the early to bed policy will ensure better sleep hygiene in the indiviual.
Therefore
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, stricter parenting can provide benefit of inculcating better habits in
children
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.
On the other hand
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, If a
child
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 is given the freedom of decision-making ,it can be helpful in the development of important life skills.
This
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 is because
children
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 take decision for themselves from a very young-age
instead
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 of relying on their parents,and develop the skills of critical thinking and anlaysing every aspect carefully before reaching a final decision.
For example
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, if a
child
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 decides to throw birthday party his/her own birthday dress in a fixed amount of money, he/she will cautiously plan the event ensuring it is not out of budget.
As a consequence
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 the
child
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 will be more independent and analytical adult. In conclusion,
while
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 there is an advantage imposing strict rules on the
children
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such
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 as making them obedient.
However
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,
according to
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 my opinion it is beneficial to provide
children
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 the independence of taking decisions for themselves as it can teach them significant life skills and make them an independent adult.

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general
The essay makes a good start by discussing both sides and giving your view. Work on clear, correct spelling and grammar to make ideas easy to read.
structure
Use simple, clear topic sentences and shorter links between ideas to help flow. Check spelling of key words that show your view, like 'later' and 'advantage'.
content
The essay has a clear view stated in the introduction and kept in the conclusion.
structure
There are examples used to show ideas.
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