IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that robots are important for humans to develop their future, while others think that it is a dangerous invention that will impact society negatively. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is clear to say that
;
Punctuation problem
,
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 by the development of technology, human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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had began
Wrong verb form
have begun
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 to use
robots
Use synonyms
 as a daily helper for
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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. But as many people think that,
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 automatic machines can help us to build our
future
Punctuation problem
future,
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while
Linking Words
 others figure out
robots
Use synonyms
 as a destructive invention. They believe
this
Linking Words
 technology has side effects on population. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will argue different points. If we look at the positive side of
issue
Correct article usage
the issue
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, it is possible to say robotic engineering is a rising trend all over the world. Especially in productive sections, the industry uses modern
robots
Use synonyms
 to produce everything more effectively and
seriously
Replace the word
efficiently
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. That's a good way to gain more time and money. And
Linking Words
also
Punctuation problem
also,
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robots
Use synonyms
 can be used in medical departments to handle difficult surgeries. Maybe we will hear about mechanical,
bionical
Correct your spelling
bionic
,
robotical
Correct your spelling
robotic
 bones and tissues in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 near future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people don't want to trust
this
Linking Words
 invention and see it
a
Change preposition
as a
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hazard
Replace the word
hazardous
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 impact on society. If
robots
Use synonyms
 take
the
Correct article usage
apply
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care of the
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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, people would get out of
system
Correct article usage
the system
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as a result
Linking Words
.  As they mention, with the rise of
Use synonyms
robots
Punctuation problem
robots,
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 unemployment will
rise
Correct word order
also rise
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also
Linking Words
.
Necessity
Correct article usage
The necessity
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 of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 in usual jobs will
set down
Verb problem
decrease
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, so it will be hard to work for everyone. And
also
Linking Words
, they claim that
robots
Use synonyms
 couldn't get all the
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
as
Correct word choice
that
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 a human
.
Verb problem
can.
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 They don't have perfect intelligence.
The things
Correct determiner usage
Things
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 can go wrong easily
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 that can be dangerous. As a conclusion
;
Punctuation problem
,
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 it's the reality that electronic devices can make our lives more comfortable
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
; however
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have always
Correct word order
always have
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 potential of making
mistakes
Punctuation problem
mistakes,
show examples
these
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can not be fixed.

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task response
Make your main view clear in the first paragraph and keep it in your last paragraph. Say clearly if you think robots are good or bad for the future.
coherence
Link ideas with simple joins like 'and', 'but', 'also', and 'however'. Try to pace your points so each idea has a line before it and a short end.
coherence
Give one clear example for each idea to show how it helps or harms. Keep ideas simple and close to life.
structure
The writing has a clear plan with an intro, body and conclusion.
content
You talk about both sides, not just one side.
content
Some good ideas like use of robots in factories and in medicine.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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