Many people believe that children learn by watching television. They say that children should be encouraged to watch television regularly at home and at school. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays, there are a lot of people agree with watching
television
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at
home
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and
school
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. In my opinion, i partially agree with
this
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statement.
This
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essay will provide evidence to support my opinion. On the only hand, I completely agree with
children
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who enjoy watching
television
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at
home
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. There are a lot of positive ideas about watching
television
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at
home
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.
First,
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television
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can improve
children
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’s information for all type of
children
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. Especially
children
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who study at
school
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. Because they have to see the classes on YouTube or search an information on Google they might forgot it.
Second,
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it promotes parent relationship by gathering at
home
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and watching movies.
Therefore
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,
this
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can make their relationship more stronger.
Finally
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, it helps
children
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getting news by several channels. On the other hands, i am not agree with watching
television
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at
school
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. There are a large number of reasons why i am disagree with
this
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view.
First,
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television
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can waste
children
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time
instead
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of learning more information. Second there is a study at university of oxford showed that forty percent of people who watch
television
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are
children
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more than adults. So, teachers must avoid
television
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from
children
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and improve learning at the board.
Finally
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, watching
television
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at
school
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could promote sleepiness which it can make
children
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lazy. In conclusion,i believe that it is clear to see that watching
television
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at
home
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is a great idea.
However
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, i don’t believe that watching
television
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at
school
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is a good idea. So, people have to avoid putting
television
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for student who study at
school
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.

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clarity
Be clear. Put your view in the first line and stay with it.
organization
Use one idea in each part. Start with a point and end with a short end sentence.
cohesion
Use small linking words like first, next, also, but, so to join ideas.
content
Give a small example for each idea to show you can explain.
grammar
Check small grammar: I becomes I, 'on the one hand' is correct, capital letters.
content
You take a view that home TV can be good.
structure
You set home and school in two parts.
content
Some ideas chosen to explain why home TV can help.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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