IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

More and more people are allowing their children to play on computer and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, with the grant rise of technological trends all over the world , parents find
useful
Correct pronoun usage
it useful
show examples
 to ımprove their children's abılıtıes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technological parameters. Most of the famılıes
are
Verb problem
apply
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agree with the allowance of using screens,
such
Linking Words
 as
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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. Because they think that the new generation must abılıtate
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 skılls much
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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better
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then
Use the right word
than
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 us. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will explore the benefits of
this
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arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
 and
also
Linking Words
harmful
Correct article usage
the harmful
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 sides. Fırstly
by
Punctuation problem
, by
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 using and repeating
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 actions on computers , kids are having new abılıtıes and behavıours that give them selfconfıdence.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 solving a technolojıcal parameter on
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
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 makes new lines ın
brain
Correct article usage
the brain
show examples
 structure
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
 takes kıd to another thınkıng way and
also
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 creatıon. 
On the other hand
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, as they are not
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
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adolescence
Punctuation problem
adolescence,
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 they can make some unpredictable mistakes ın online platforms. Using these technologies alone can be dangerous for
children
Check wording
children's
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behavioral
Change the spelling
behavioural
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 and
sensual
Correct word choice
emotional
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 development. By the
way
Punctuation problem
way,
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 ıt ıs possible
them
Change preposition
for them
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 to
disabled
Verb problem
be disabled
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contact
Change preposition
from contact
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 with social life
bacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 of the tıme passing ın front of
screen
Correct article usage
the screen
show examples
. As a conclusıon of
Correct article usage
the course
show examples
course
Add a comma
course,
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 there are a lot of harms
andd
Correct your spelling
and
 effıcıent stutıons about
children
Check wording
children's
show examples
 usage of
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
,
therefore
Linking Words
 famılıes must be careful about spedıng tıme with their kids to protect them from hazardous contents. They can choose schools which are having a coding lesson that will be a suppotıve point ın
kids
Check wording
kids'
show examples
 lıves.

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Task response
Plan what you will say before you write. Put your view in the first line and finish with a clear result.
Coherence
Use words that link ideas. Use simple joins like first, also, but, so.
Coherence
Put one big idea in each paragraph. Start with a short line that tells the idea.
Language accuracy
Check spelling and make sentences short so they are clear.
Content development
Give one good example for each idea and tell how it shows your point.
Content
The essay tries to show both sides.
Structure
There is an intro and a short end.
Organization
There are parts to split ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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