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Writing Samples
Band 4

the two maps below show a park as it is today and planned changes that will be completed in 2020 summarize the information

the two maps below show a park as it is today and planned changes that will be completed in 2020 summarize the information
The figure above
illustartes
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 a comparison between two parks from 2008 on the
left hand
Use the right word
left-hand
show examples
 side to the current date on the
right
Correct word choice
right-hand
show examples
handside
Correct your spelling
side
. The most striking feature is the removal of the research and development
buliding
Correct your spelling
building
 from the
area
Use synonyms
 and replacing it with grassland.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the car park
area
Use synonyms
 has been
minimized
Change the spelling
minimised
show examples
 at the
expens
Correct your spelling
expense
 of the
cyber security
Use the right word
cybersecurity
show examples
building
Punctuation problem
building,
show examples
wich
Use the right word
which
show examples
 is now
occupining
Correct your spelling
occupying
 a larger
area
Use synonyms
resulting
Punctuation problem
, resulting
show examples
 in fewer
grassland
Fix the agreement mistake
grasslands
show examples
 east
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 it. Regarding transportation, a train station has been added on the railway
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
south of the
area
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, cycle
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
 are placed and
are connecting
Wrong verb form
connect
show examples
 the north, south and east of the park. The
univeristy
Correct your spelling
university
 hub took place south
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the office
Punctuation problem
, wich
show examples
wich
Use the right word
which
show examples
 remained unchanged, in place of the reception
area
Use synonyms
. The IT
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 has been
changes
Replace the word
changed
show examples
ro
Correct your spelling
to
 Innovation
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 and is the closest building to the train station. In summary, a new train station, cycling paths are present
due to
Linking Words
reduction
Correct article usage
a reduction
show examples
 in car parking
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
. More grassland is now present i the north east
due to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the
show examples
absence of research and development
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
.
Bussniess
Correct your spelling
Business
 unit and office
spaced
Replace the word
spaces
show examples
 remained unchanged.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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