Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. What are the reasons for this? How serious are the effects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Underage
obesity
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is becoming more and more of
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
urgent phenomenon in many nations, which is causing detrimental effects.
This
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essay will examine the cause related to
this
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tendency. There are a variety of reasons for childhood
obesity
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.
To begin
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with, the rise of
fast
Correct article usage
the fast
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food
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industry has deeply
influence
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influenced
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the way that kids and adolescents eat nowadays. It
create
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creates
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cravings and results in binge eating, which is scientifically known as "
food
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coping" where people use
food
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as a way to relieve stress.
For instance
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, the BBC has recorded the eating behaviour of
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
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generation, which
chart
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charts
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illustrated
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illustrate
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that 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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of youngsters tend to enjoy fast
food
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and would even consider
ti eat
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eating
show examples
it
everyday
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every day
show examples
.
Thus
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,
this
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industrial rise of
food
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has created a trend, which is one of the main causes of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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childhood
obesity
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. Unexpectedly, there are various
consequenses
Correct your spelling
consequences
to
this
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phenomenon.
Firstly
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, chubby kids are very restricted to any kind of physical exercise,
which
Punctuation problem
which,
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if not
perform
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performed
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correctly
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correctly,
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would harm them more.
This
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might
sounds
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sound
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like nothing
but
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, but
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in
reality
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reality,
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it is alarming since
this
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"disease" could increase their risk of having a heart attack, sugar rush, diabetes,etc... Which is very detrimental for them ,especially
,
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apply
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kids who have yet to reach adulthood.
For example
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, many individuals have suffered serious injuries and related health
flaw
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flaws
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. As a
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result
show examples
results
Add a comma
results,
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they will live shorter than most people
while
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being chubby and
physical
Replace the word
physically
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disabled.
Therefore
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,
obesity
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is the disease that we should be aware of and try our best to mitigate
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
harm. In conclusion, the expansion in child
obesity
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is alarmingly fast and has
became
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become
show examples
a crisis that needs to be solved in many nations. It's mainly caused by the shift of
food
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that has been mentioned earlier in the essay. From what has been
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discussed
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discuss
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discuss,
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we should try our best in order to tackle
this
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phenomenon as soon as possible
due to
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how
Rephrase
apply
show examples
much harm it brings.

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improvement
The essay talks about the topic but does not fully answer the task. Add clear reasons and more real facts to back each point.
planning
Plan your writing. Use a clear start, then a body paragraph for each idea, and finish with a short end that restates.
structure
There is a clear start, middle and end to the essay.
coherence
Some linking words help to join ideas.
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