IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the percentage of greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
The charts illustrate the average use of
energy
Use synonyms
 in Australian
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 and the
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions in greenhouse
hould
Correct your spelling
gases
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 come from the same
energy
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest
energy
Use synonyms
 has been used
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 heating in
household
Correct article usage
the household
show examples
, by almost half of the
energy
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
water
Use synonyms
 heating came second with
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 amount as well,
while
Linking Words
 cooling
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the lowest
energy
Use synonyms
consume
Wrong verb form
consumed
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions,
water
Use synonyms
 heating were the highest, but heating had dropped over here, but it
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 second
instead
Linking Words
 of one,
although
Linking Words
 cooling
reamin
Correct your spelling
remained
 at
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 point.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the average household
energy
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in
Austraila
Correct your spelling
Australia
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 heating were first by 42%, next
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 heating by 30%,
those
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
 were the main things,
while
Linking Words
 the rest were scoring lower
energy
Use synonyms
, like
(
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
refrigeration
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 7%, lighting
4
Verb problem
was 4
show examples
%, and cooling
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 only 2%
)
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
. And there are 15%
remain
Wrong verb form
remaining
show examples
 which
been
Verb problem
have been
show examples
 used by other appliances. After
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 we have, greenhouse in
Autraila
Correct your spelling
Australia
,
Punctuation problem
. This
show examples
this
Linking Words
mainly
Verb problem
was mainly
show examples
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
about the
gas
Use synonyms
 emission from the
enegry
Correct your spelling
energy
, and the highest point was
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 heating by 32%,
then
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 heating were it was 15%,
then
Linking Words
 other appliances, which were the second
greater
Correct word choice
greatest
show examples
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions after
water
Use synonyms
 heating by 28% respectively
,
Punctuation problem
. Furthermore
show examples
Linking Words
furthermore
Punctuation problem
furthermore,
show examples
 refrigeration were it was 14%only. For
lighting
Add a comma
lighting,
show examples
 it was 8% ,
while
Linking Words
 the
last
Linking Words
 point
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 3% which
cooling
Verb problem
was cooling
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, gas, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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