IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Currently the number of social problems involving young people is rising because more parnets spend time at workd than with their childern. To what exent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to supprot your answer

Nowadays, the number of social problems is
increase
Replace the word
increasing
show examples
 among young people,
due to
Linking Words
 busy
parents
Use synonyms
. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view, and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain my opinion. In the modern community, more and more
parents
Use synonyms
 are working for long hours
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 when they
back
Verb problem
get back
show examples
 home, they need a rest of time, which
effect
Verb problem
affects
show examples
 their
childrens’
Check wording
children’s
show examples
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 other words, some
parents
Use synonyms
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
show examples
 their child to spend more time in front of
screen
Correct article usage
the screen
show examples
, in order to feel
relax
Replace the word
relaxed
show examples
 after a busy day.
Therefore
Linking Words
, most of them use it in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 wrong way,
such
Linking Words
 as watching
misbehavior
Change the spelling
misbehaviour
show examples
 videos and
copy
Wrong verb form
copying
show examples
 their actions. Without
motoring
Verb problem
monitoring
show examples
 and guiding
young
Punctuation problem
, young
show examples
 individuals might practice
danger
Replace the word
dangerous
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 actions, like crimes and
fight
Replace the word
fighting
show examples
, which leads to social problems. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, peers flounce, some young people keep in touch with their friends more than connecting with their
parents
Use synonyms
, and easy to follow their values.
For instance
Linking Words
, they encourage each other to damage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, like
thefting
Correct your spelling
robbing
 expensive shops and houses.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason
Add a comma
reason,
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 individuals need respect and care from their families. In conclusion, the main causes of social issues
is
Verb problem
are less
show examples
less-care
Use the right word
care
show examples
 from home.
Thus
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 should
be
Verb problem
pay
show examples
 more attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their children and give them
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their time, to reduce social problems.

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structure
Make a clear plan before you write. State your main idea in one line at the start, then add two or three small points with simple facts or examples.
language
Use short, plain words. Check spell and use correct verb and noun forms so the text is easy to read.
coherence
Link ideas with simple transitions like 'also', 'but', 'then', and 'for example' to help the flow.
task
End with a short rest of your view and a clear conclusion that says what should be done.
content
The writer shows a clear view on the topic.
content
There are examples used to show ideas.
insight
The essay tries to link home life with how young people act in society.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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