IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that having a
home
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of renting one is
very
Rephrase
apply
show examples
essential for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various countries. There are some reasons
such
Linking Words
 as retirement,
prices
Use synonyms
 or investment. I
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 that it is
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 advantage for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, since there is a mutuality between the
people
Use synonyms
bought
Correct pronoun usage
who bought
show examples
 the
house
Use synonyms
 and sold the
house
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some elderly
people
Use synonyms
 would like
move
Verb problem
to move
show examples
rural
Change preposition
to rural
show examples
 areas when they
retired
Wrong verb form
retire
show examples
 from their jobs, and want to live
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 own homes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they would like to hand down a
house
Use synonyms
 to their
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey illustrates that most of the old
people
Use synonyms
 would like to own a
house
Use synonyms
 in rural areas in Turkey, since they want to live
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
quite
Use the right word
quiet
show examples
 place.
Additionally
Linking Words
, handing down a
house
Use synonyms
 to their children makes them happy.
The another
Correct determiner usage
Another
show examples
 point, investment
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a
house
Use synonyms
 would be logical for adults because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they will be able to gain passive income. Buying a
house
Use synonyms
when
Rephrase
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the construction time is a cheaper way
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
investors
Correct word choice
if investors
show examples
 sell it when the construction
finished
Verb problem
is finished
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some individuals buy, repair and sell the old houses to gain money.
For instance
Linking Words
,
researches
Correct subject-verb agreement
research
show examples
 about
incomes
Correct article usage
the incomes
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 that some
people
Use synonyms
 buy a
house
Use synonyms
,
after
Correct word choice
and
show examples
that
Use the right word
then
show examples
 they sell it when the
prices
Use synonyms
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 only prefer to own a
home
Use synonyms
 because they do not trust homeowners or
Use synonyms
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
show examples
 of
rentings
Correct your spelling
rentals
.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey
did
Verb problem
conducted
show examples
 in Turkey
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
demonstrats
Correct your spelling
demonstrates
 that homeowners rent their houses
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 higher
prices
Use synonyms
 than
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 should
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to buy a flat. I
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 that
this
Linking Words
 situation is a positive thing because most
people
Use synonyms
 who own a
home
Use synonyms
 are delighted.
Also
Linking Words
, it is a mutual thing, since both the persons
buy
Correct pronoun usage
who buy
show examples
 the
home
Use synonyms
 and sell the
house
Use synonyms
 are
did their
Wrong verb form
doing what they
show examples
wantings
Replace the word
want
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, owning a
home
Use synonyms
 rather than renting one is
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 and vital thing for some
people
Use synonyms
, as the reasons
gaining
Verb problem
are gaining
show examples
 money, moving to another place and
choices
Verb problem
making choices
show examples
.

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task response
Make the main idea clear in the intro and keep it through the essay. Do not stray from this main point.
grammar
Use simple, short sentences. Check spelling of common words like believe and retirement.
cohesion
Use linking words (and, but, also, because) to join ideas.
examples
Provide one clear example for each point and explain it briefly so the reader sees the link.
structure
Plan the essay with a clear layout: intro, 2–3 body parts, short conclusion.
idea
The writer shows a view that owning a home can be good for society.
content
Some reasons are given, such as retirement and money from sale.
argument
An attempt is made to use examples and numbers.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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