IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think online learning is better for students, while others believe studying in traditional classrooms is more effective. Discuss both views

Recently, the technology has
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
developed especially in education. Some
students
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
prefer to attend
classes
Use synonyms
 online and others prefer to attend
face to face
Use the right word
face-to-face
show examples
classes
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 we will discuss all these
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
. On one hand,
attend
Wrong verb form
attending
show examples
 online
classes
Use synonyms
 nowadays
seem
Correct subject-verb agreement
seems
show examples
 so helpful and has
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
.
Fo
Use the right word
For
show examples
 example,
covid-19
Use the right word
COVID-19
show examples
 essential
this
Linking Words
 idea and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 more popular in the world. If you attend your
classes
Use synonyms
 online, it will be
easy
Replace the word
easier
show examples
 to attend more than in person. But
attend
Wrong verb form
attending
show examples
classes
Use synonyms
 online
also
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has
downside
Correct article usage
a downside
show examples
, some of the
students
Use synonyms
 can't focus
while
Linking Words
 the teacher teaches them. For young people, it is good to have physical activity in the classroom ,but
Verb problem
to online
show examples
online hard work
Correct word order
work online hard
show examples
 on it.
In addition
Linking Words
, hard to make group work because it will be so noisy.
One
Use the right word
On
show examples
 the other hand,
attend
Wrong verb form
attending
show examples
 class in person has some benefits.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
students
Use synonyms
 can be more active and share their thoughts with their tutors. The
students
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 meet their classmates
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
class. But
there's
Verb problem
there are
show examples
also
Linking Words
 disadvantages, one of them is
hard sometimes
Correct word order
sometimes hard
show examples
 to attend all the
classes
Use synonyms
 because when you're
tired
Punctuation problem
tired,
show examples
 you prefer to stay at home.
Moreover
Linking Words
, for those people
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 live
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
village
Correct article usage
the village
show examples
, hard for them to go to school and continue their studies.
Overall
Linking Words
, all ways have benefits and downsides. So we should balance between them and
devolve
Verb problem
develop
show examples
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
 as much as we can. We can use smart tools in the classroom, and have good ability to offer the best way to study for all
students
Use synonyms
.

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Task response
Make your view clear in the first paragraph. Say what you think about online or class work.
Coherence
Each main idea in a paragraph should have one simple point and a small example.
Coherence
Use simple linking words to show contrast and add ideas.
Grammar
Fix spelling and word form so it reads easy.
Task response
End with a short line that restates your main idea.
Structure
The essay has an intro, body and conclusion.
Content
It talks about both views.
Examples
Some clear examples are used.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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