IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below show the number of hours spent on social media per day from 2010to 2016 as well as the reasons why they used them. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting.

The graph below show the number of hours spent on social media per day from 2010to 2016 as well as the reasons why they used them. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting.
The column chart below
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the proportion of
businessess
Correct your spelling
businesses
 with a social media presence
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2010 to 2016. The chart
describe
Correct subject-verb agreement
describes
show examples
 the number of hours spent on social media and the reasons
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why they
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 them. First of all, there was a dramatic increased during 2012 to 2016 from 28% to 48%.
This
Linking Words
 means more and more people are
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 attracted to
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 it.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 the medium
businesses
Use synonyms
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 the same phenomenon.
There
Use the right word
Their
show examples
 percentage increased dramatically between 2018
anad
Correct your spelling
and
 2016 for medium
businesses
Use synonyms
 from 31% to 52%.
However
Linking Words
, if we check
againfor
Correct your spelling
again for
 medium
businesses
Use synonyms
 from 2014 to
2015
Punctuation problem
2015,
show examples
 there was a big drop from 48% to 30%.
Linking Words
Finally
Punctuation problem
Finally,
show examples
 for the large
businesses
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 there was a decrease in 2015, there was still
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 increase slightly from 78% to 79% during 2012 to 2016.
Therefore
Linking Words
, for all of the
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
, they all show an increase phenomenon. The small business shows the
most faster
Correct word choice
fastest
show examples
 speed to
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 the percentage. And for large
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
business
Add a comma
business,
show examples
 there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 not
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
really big changes in percentage.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words businesses with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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