IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people believe that advertising has negative effects on consumers. To what extent do you agree?

It is argued that many people see ad campaigns as having a passive influence on patrons.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely agrees with that view, and we're going to elaborate on it. These days, advertisements have a profound impact on clients.
Subsequently
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, many families reported that their sons
enforce
Verb problem
encourage
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 them to purchase as soon as they see a street ad ,
such
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 as a video game, PlayStation. So many parents struggled
along
Change preposition
apply
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to address
such
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 situations.
For instance
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, most of
family's
Correct article usage
the family's
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 violent crimes in Gudim were committed by their sons, only because they wanted to buy a PC that they saw in a TV commercial, and the authorities did their job by sentencing them to jail.
Thus
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, loads of commercials might sometimes cause
horrbile
Correct your spelling
horrible
 effects or something we certainly don't desire.
Also
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, there are several reasons, but take one of them to illustrate. By watching a beneficial TV ads, we of course go and buy it, but some companies lack credibility;
as a result
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, consumers will sue them, in order to do that, you have to afford
this
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 whole case or you're going to lose it, the problem is, most of patrons don't have adequate funds, so their case going to fail undoubtedly. To make it clear, I have a friend who sued a company for commercial fraud
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and cheating him with fake goods, so he lost that case, declaring bankruptcy. In conclusion, a lot of advertising campaigns might cause unwanted crimes, and the only one who take responsibility is the family.
Also
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, it leverages you when you don't make a full check about that product you want
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 if so, it will
cause
Verb problem
cost
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 you a lot of money to sue the
corporate
Replace the word
corporation
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.

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planning
Plan your work. Make a simple plan with 4 parts: intro, 2 body parts, and a short end.
clarity
Tell your view in the first line of the essay and restate it at the end.
organization
Keep one idea in each paragraph. Use easy links like and, but, also to show links.
evidence
Use real and simple examples that fit the topic. Do not use wrong facts or names you make up.
language
Check your words and spellings. Use common words and short, clear sentences.
strength
The writer shows a clear view that ads can have strong pull on people.
strength
Some effort is shown to give reasons and effects.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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