IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The map below shows the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town called Darwin between 2009 and 2014.

The map below shows the changes that have taken place at the waterfront area of a town called Darwin between 2009 and 2014.
The map provides key information about the
site
Use the right word
city
show examples
 of Darwin
city
Check wording
apply
show examples
in 2009 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that Darwin
town
Fix capitalization
Town
show examples
 College in 2009 had few services.
In addition
Linking Words
. It is not divided into specific stations,
whereas
Linking Words
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 in 2014, the plan is clearer and has multiple spaces.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown in the plan for the town in 2009, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
sea
Correct article usage
a sea
show examples
 and
swimming
Correct article usage
a swimming
show examples
 pool
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right
side
Use synonyms
 of the map. Next to
pool
Correct article usage
the pool
show examples
, there was a specific
area
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 fishing. In the centre, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 an industrial
area
Use synonyms
 with a lake inside the
area
Use synonyms
 and several trees.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there was a school in the left industrial
place
Check wording
area
show examples
. It is noticeable that
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the top of
this
Linking Words
 map there was a convention
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
side
Use synonyms
, there were residential
buildngs
Correct your spelling
buildings
. The lake,
scholl
Correct your spelling
school
, and convention
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
remaind
Correct your spelling
remained
 in the same place. It is noticeable that there was
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 university
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left
side
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, there was an increased number of residential buildings. In terms of the waterfront
area
Use synonyms
 in 2014, there were many services, beginning with a harbour on the sea.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the centre, there was a third pool for swimming. The lake,
scholl
Correct your spelling
school
, and convention
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
remaind
Correct your spelling
remained
 in the same place. It is noticeable that there was
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 university
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left
side
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 an increased number of residential buildings and several trees
surraunding
Correct your spelling
surrounding
 the
area
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words side, area with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: