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Writing Samples
Band 6

The map shows the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant.

The map shows the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant.
The map shows the centre of Paris. A company wants to open a new restaurant in the area. The map shows two possible locations for the restaurant. The map depicts
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the two potential areas of a new restaurant in the centre of Paris.
Overall
Linking Words
,
location
Use synonyms
 1 is positioned
nearby
Use the right word
near
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 cultural attractions.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 there are significant landmarks
such
Linking Words
 as the Eiffel
tower
Fix capitalization
Tower
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 and tourism spots close to
location
Use synonyms
 2. It means
locations
Fix the agreement mistake
location
show examples
 2 attracts more visitors than
location
Use synonyms
 1. On the one hand,
location
Use synonyms
 1 is situated on the northern side of the Eiffel
tower
Fix capitalization
Tower
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. Nearby the place, there is the Maritime Museum
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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visit
Wrong verb form
is visited
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8000
Change preposition
by 8000
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 people every day. The aquarium is located
in
Change preposition
on
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 the eastern side, attracting 2000 visitors.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is connected via
Bir
Correct article usage
the Bir
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 Hakeim metro station.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
location
Use synonyms
 2 is right behind
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the main attraction, the Eiffel Tower
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 draws in around 16,000 visitors each day.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words location with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proximity
  • attractions
  • landmarks
  • boost business
  • public transportation
  • accessibility
  • upscale neighborhood
  • demographic
  • premium
  • menu items
  • competition
  • market saturation
  • rental costs
  • operational costs
  • profit margins
  • foot traffic
  • amenities
  • business offices
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