IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is more important for schoolchildren tp learn about local history than world history. Do you agree or disagree?

History
Use synonyms
 is an important subject because it helps
students
Use synonyms
 understand how societies have changed over time. Some people think that children should focus more on learning about their own country’s past rather than
world
Use synonyms
history
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea, as both local and global
history
Use synonyms
 are important for
students
Use synonyms
’
overall
Linking Words
 education.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, studying
world
Use synonyms
history
Use synonyms
 allows young people to learn about different cultures and major global events.
For example
Linking Words
, learning about the
World
Use synonyms
 Wars or ancient
civilizations
Change the spelling
civilisations
show examples
 like Greece and Egypt helps
students
Use synonyms
 understand how the modern
world
Use synonyms
 was formed. It
also
Linking Words
 teaches them to respect other cultures and to see how countries are connected today. Clearly,
world
Use synonyms
history
Use synonyms
 helps
students
Use synonyms
 develop a broader view of the
world
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, knowledge of global
history
Use synonyms
 can help
students
Use synonyms
 learn from past mistakes.
For instance
Linking Words
, by studying economic crises or political conflicts, young people can understand how to prevent similar problems in the future.
While
Linking Words
 local
history
Use synonyms
 teaches pride in one’s heritage, focusing only on it may cause
students
Use synonyms
 to miss out on valuable lessons from other nations’ experiences. In conclusion, both local and
world
Use synonyms
history
Use synonyms
 are important, but
world
Use synonyms
history
Use synonyms
 gives
students
Use synonyms
 a wider understanding of human development and cooperation.
Therefore
Linking Words
, schools should teach both areas equally so that children can grow into open-minded and well-informed adults.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Make your view clearer in the opening and keep a single main idea in your answer.
Coherence
Explain each idea with a strong link to your main point; add clear cause and effects.
Lexical Resource
Use simple words and avoid hard words. Try to stay in the top 100 common words.
Content
Give one strong example for each idea and show how it supports your claim.
Structure
Finish with a short ending that restates your view and main points.
Task Response
Clear view that both local and world history matter.
Coherence
Good use of link words to show how ideas connect.
Structure
Conclusion repeats the main idea well.
Content
Examples fit the point and help explain your idea.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: