IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Education has become more and more about tests and results, and less about becoming a good citizen. This is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In recent years, there has been a huge increase in the number of
students
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 and parents who tend to focus heavily on
exams
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. I firmly believe that the exam only shows the
results
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 without the learning process
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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students
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 don’t pay attention to gaining knowledge or developing teamwork
skills
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, which are essential for social
life
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.
This
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 issue has become one of the most debated topics in modern education. Since not only , but
also
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 Body 1
First,
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there is a point to be made that focusing too much on
exams
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 and tests can prevent
students
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 from developing the essential
skills
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 for real
life
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.
For example
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, many
students
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 will have to work when they grow up, but if they only focus on tests and
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results
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results,
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 they may not learn about managing finances, cleaning and cooking.
For
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this
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 reason, it is evident that focusing only on tests and
results
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 can cause
students
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 to lose the opportunity to gain important
life
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skills
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 for the future. Body 2
Nonetheless
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, it can
also
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 be argued that
exams
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 and
results
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 can help
students
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 set clear and realistic goals.
For example
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, when they achieve good test scores, they may be able to enter a good university or find better career opportunities.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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such
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 an education system can make
students
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 more motivated to study hard. Conclusion
To conclude
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, the overwhelming evidence seems to suggest that focusing too much on
exams
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 can stop
students
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 from learning important
skills
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 for their future.
As a result
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, they might have problems when working or communicating with other people later in
life
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.

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task response
State your view clearly in the introduction and keep a single clear position through the essay.
task response
Give 2-3 clear reasons with simple examples and explain how they support your view.
task response
Fix the intro and end: an opening sentence that states your stance and a closing sentence that restates it.
coherence
Make each paragraph have one main idea with a topic sentence, and add a short link to the next point.
coherence
Use simple linking words and avoid repeating the same phrase; keep flow from sentence to sentence.
coherence
Remove 'Body 1' and 'Body 2' lines; use proper paragraph breaks to help clarity.
organization
There is a basic essay shape with introduction, body and conclusion.
content
Examples are used to show how exams can affect real life.
argument
The writer tries to discuss both sides of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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