IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

An increasing number of schools provide tablets and laptop computers for students to use in school, replacing books and other printed materials like exams and assignments.What are the advantages and disadvantages?

In today’s world
schools
Punctuation problem
, schools
show examples
 are replacing traditional
books
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet-based digital
tools
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
tablets
Use synonyms
 and laptop computers. In my view, despite the merits of digital
tools
Use synonyms
, traditional
books
Use synonyms
 offer more drawbacks
overall
Linking Words
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,internet
devices
Use synonyms
 have numerous advantages. To support my perspective,I can say that when learners, even teachers, research a piece of information,digital
Use synonyms
tools
Punctuation problem
tools,
show examples
 divided
into
Change preposition
as
show examples
tablets
Use synonyms
,laptops,and
computers
Punctuation problem
computers,
show examples
 are able to facilitate our time. As an example, in order to completely learn a one topic
learners
Punctuation problem
, learners
show examples
 should read the traditional book
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 consists of at least 350-400 pages
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
in
such
Linking Words
 circumstances
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
internet- based
Use the right word
internet-based
show examples
tools
Use synonyms
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
show examples
 in numerous benefits in convenience and facilitating the time.
Although
Linking Words
 the advantages of
tablets
Use synonyms
,laptop computers seem attractive and effortless,one must not underestimate
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 potential drawbacks.The numerous vital disadvantages of internet
devices
Use synonyms
 cause serious problems
directed
Verb problem
related
show examples
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 health issues,lack of budget or wage and the hazard of depending on virtual life rather than public lifestyle
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can harm
society
Check wording
society's
show examples
 stability.Definitely,excessive use of internet-based
devices
Use synonyms
 causes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hazardous health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
eyes
Fix the agreement mistake
eye
show examples
.
Check wording
damage.
show examples
Secondly
Linking Words
, the lack of budget or money ,demanding of laptops the latest
time
Check wording
laptops
show examples
,made them overpriced
tools
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
,using laptops everywhere
even
Punctuation problem
, even
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traditional classes
instead
Linking Words
 of
books
Use synonyms
,notes able to
cause
Verb problem
lead
show examples
 to remote from public society
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can damage even psychology of teenagers. In conclusion,I agree with those who believe that internet
devices
Use synonyms
 make our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 effortless and more convenient.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 despite its numerous merits, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more
vast
Correct word choice
significant
show examples
 drawbacks
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 harm the health and social stability of learners in using
tablets
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of
books
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your answer. Make one clear view and state it in the first sentence. Then give two reasons with simple examples.
content
Use one idea per paragraph. Start with a short topic sentence. Then give a sentence to explain.
cohesion
Link ideas with simple words: First, also, but, however, so.
grammar
Check grammar and spell small mistakes. Use short sentences.
content
You talk about both sides.
structure
You give an example about pages in a book to show time use.
overall
There is a clear view at the start.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: