IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

More and more people move from the countryside to big cities. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages to the environment?

Nowadays, an increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
 move towards
cities
Use synonyms
 from
countryside
Use synonyms
 areas.In my humble opinion ,in spite of the challenges arising from
Correct article usage
the
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movement to vast
cities
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 ,there are more merits
overall
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.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 movement towards central areas rather than suburbs has sparked various debates, it is undeniable that it brings
wide
Correct article usage
a wide
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 range of benefits to modern society .To support my perspective, moving to central areas of a country is the solution
of
Change preposition
to
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lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of employees and
moreover
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 the crucial opportunity for earning
more
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a higher
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 wage than in
suburbs
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the suburbs
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.
For instance
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, when inhabitants
placed
Verb problem
are placed
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to
Change preposition
in
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Correct article usage
the center
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center
Change the spelling
centre
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 of
Correct article usage
the country
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country
Punctuation problem
country,
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 they are able to economy their time in finding
works
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work
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 within
week
Correct article usage
a week
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even
Punctuation problem
, even
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 without
face to face
Use the right word
a face-to-face
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 meeting.In the next phase, one of the useful merits is earning.Compared with
countryside
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 places
in
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, in
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 the
city
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 more possibility to earn enough wage for their daily
fees
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needs
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 and others.
In addition
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,
cities
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 provide better
facility
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facilities
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 in terms of daily needs for everyone
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as gas, water and others.These qualities
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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usually
Verb problem
are usually
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is
Verb problem
apply
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not affordable in the villages. On the one hand,there are several drawbacks which negatively affect the social life of
people
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. To begin with,the number of habitats in the
countryside
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places
Check wording
apply
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.
For instance
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,
If
Fix capitalization
if
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 too many
people
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will
Verb problem
apply
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move from villages to
cities
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 ,the number of villages can be empty.
Secondly
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,
people
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 when they come to the
city
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 can face suffering in terms of air and natural
,
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apply
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milk-based products.These issues
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due
Verb problem
are due
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 to many factories in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 of
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city
Correct article usage
the city
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 pollute
air
Correct article usage
the air
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 and it is
hazardous
Correct word order
also hazardous
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also
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challenging
Correct word choice
and challenging
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especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 for citizens who
came
Wrong verb form
have come
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 recently. In conclusion,despite the difficulties and drawbacks of taking place in the
city
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 ,coming from the
countryside
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 ,there are several main and useful merits which have an impact on the social and daily lifestyle of
people
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.I support the idea of those who believe that there are more benefits and opportunities moving to the
city
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 than disadvantages.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first line of the essay.
structure
Use a simple plan: intro, one body paragraph on good points, one on bad points, then a short conclusion.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like also, but, because, for example to help flow.
grammar
Check grammar and make small fixes in tense and prepositions.
content
Add more detail or examples to show and back up main ideas.
content
The writer shows a clear view on the issue.
content
There are some useful ideas about jobs and life in cities.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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