IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets lots of exercises and avoids stress. What should people do to stay fit? Give reasons for your answer.

In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, a healthy
person
Use synonyms
considered
Verb problem
is considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
someone who has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good eating habits,
exercising
Replace the word
exercises
show examples
 regularly, and avoids things that become the reason of stress. To stay healthy and fit, individuals can follow
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
 diet plan,
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 different
types
Use synonyms
 of
exercise
Use synonyms
 . These factors will be discussed in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
 in the upcoming paragraphs. One of the main factors that a
person
Use synonyms
 can follow to remain themselves as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well-maintained
Use synonyms
person
Check wording
apply
show examples
is by following
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
show examples
 diet plan. These eating habits will not only include proteins, vitamins and carbohydrates, but
also
Linking Words
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
 less sugar
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 becomes the reason for Obesity and Cardiovascular diseases. In
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
, they can free themselves from various
types
Use synonyms
 of diseases. Another factor is making the
habits
Fix the agreement mistake
habit
show examples
 of daily
exercise
Use synonyms
.
As people
Change preposition
People
show examples
 can stay fit and active by following different
types
Use synonyms
 of yoga
Use synonyms
exercise
Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
show examples
, and they can join
gym
Correct article usage
a gym
show examples
 to
make
Verb problem
work out
show examples
 their muscles and body
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper
Replace the word
properly
show examples
Check wording
apply
show examples
way
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to it, they can
also
Linking Words
 use walking and cycling as a form of
exercise
Use synonyms
 on their daily basis to maintain their body shape.
Thus
Linking Words
, exercising is
also
Linking Words
 the best
way
Use synonyms
 to keep themselves in a healthy
style
Check wording
state
show examples
.
Last
Linking Words
 but not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
least, to avoid stressful
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
, people can do
Use synonyms
mediation
Replace the word
meditation
show examples
. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
mediation
Use synonyms
 will not
help
Rephrase
only help
show examples
 individuals to keep calm, but
also
Linking Words
 avoid stressful
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 in a better
way
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, with the advent of
mediation
Use synonyms
, people can release their worries and tensions in a frequent
way
Use synonyms
 to feel better in the end. In conclusion, to stay healthy, individuals can take the help of proper
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 that
inculdes
Correct your spelling
include
 various
types
Use synonyms
 of minerals
along with
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vitamins, and
also
Linking Words
following
Change preposition
by following
show examples
exercise
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
mediation
Replace the word
meditation
show examples
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
they
Punctuation problem
, they
show examples
 can become a fit
person
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Make one clear idea in each paragraph and start with a short main sentence.
language
Check grammar and use small pieces. Use correct forms like 'a good eating habit' and 'meditation' instead of 'mediation'.
content
Give simple, real reasons and easy examples for each point to show how it helps stay fit.
structure
Finish with a short ending that repeats your main idea.
content
Three main ideas are used: diet, exercise, and stress care.
content
Some real examples are named, like gym, walking, yoga.
structure
The essay has an ending that says 'In conclusion'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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