IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Global warming is one of the biggest threats to our environment. What causes global warming? What solutions are there to this problem?

Nowadays,
this
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 topic seems to be
as
Rephrase
a hotly
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hot-debated
Use the right word
debated
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one
Use synonyms
 and rather controversial, as opinions may be ambiguous. On the
one
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 hand, there are tons of diverse causes of the issue which are feasible to solve in the
nearest
Correct word choice
near
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 future with
an
Correct article usage
the
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 assistance of
Correct article usage
the human's
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human's
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human
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 brain and awareness.
On the other
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hand
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apply
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hand, it is obvious that some of the causes are harder to solve and have to be weakened in some ways. Personally, I do believe that the question of global warming has to be handled as soon as possible, as
this
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 issue has always been
one
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 of the most essential ones for humanity to exist.
Firstly
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, there is no doubt that the origin of the matter is based on the burning of fossil fuels.
In other words
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, the main cause of global warming is the excessive use of coal, oil, and natural gas for electricity, transport, and industry. These activities release large amounts of carbon dioxide, which traps heat in the Earth's atmosphere. Taking
in
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into
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 consideration the main source of the problem origin, it has to be solved by replacing fossil fuels with clean energy ,
such
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 as solar, wind, or hydro power can significantly reduce carbon emissions and slow climate change.
Hence
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, the issue of burning of fossil fuels should be handled by using
the
Correct article usage
apply
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more natural components.
Secondly
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, it is an absolutely undeniable fact from my point of view that the seed of existing complexity has been cutting down forests for agriculture or urban development, reducing the number of trees that absorb CO2.
As a result
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, more greenhouse gases remain in the air and increase global temperatures. As far as I am concerned, the problem has to be managed by planting trees and protecting existing forests help absorb CO₂ naturally, restore ecosystems, and improve air quality.
Consequently
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, trees play the main role in absorbing CO2 and saving the planet from global warming. In conclusion, that would not be extra to lay out the key points made earlier, as there are a lot of environmental issues, and global warming has been
one
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 of the most influential ones. So, my recommendation could be taken into consideration to solve the problem by replacing fossil ammunition and planting more greenery.

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structure
Work on plan. Start with a short view of the topic, then give two clear points and a short end.
content
Give more proof or detail for each point. Say how the idea helps, and give a small example.
language
Check word use. Use simple form and avoid long, hard phrases.
cohesion
Make each paragraph about one main idea. Use link words to move from one idea to the next.
task
There is a clear view that we must act now.
cohesion
The essay uses linking words to show order (Firstly, Secondly, In conclusion).
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Climate change
  • Earth's atmosphere
  • Carbon dioxide
  • Methane
  • Nitrous oxide
  • Emissions
  • Renewable energy
  • Energy efficiency
  • Afforestation
  • Carbon footprint
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